Well, I gotta hand it to the National Zoo. They may have some very sad displays and more rats than any other species, but this is a damn cute idea! Animal ringtones that not only let you revel in the cuteness that is Butterstick the baby panda, but also support conservation efforts the Zoo badly needs. Check it out-- I am personally contemplating the anteater.
Uggggggwwaaaaa, Uggggwaaaaaaa
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Squeak Squeak Squeak
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Oh good...
... now I can continue to pretend I don't like them because of my street cred when I really do. Yippie!
GAH!!
So you know how I posted about my craptastically annoying day yesterday? Well, when I got home I realized I had left my keys inside the house.
Of course I had...
Sigh. At least it was unseasonably warm outside and I could read on my stoop without getting hypothermia....
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Dizzy Izze ≠ Thin Lizzy
Ever have one of those mornings you just want to go home, go back to bed, and start all over? Today was one of them for me... After a nice night of exercise, news watching, balancing my checkbook and making a fresh mozzarella, basil, and tomato sandwich, I had an awful night's sleep. Part of it was the boy is super busy and didn't get in until way late. Part of it was the weirdo dreams I had about the boy's upcoming belated bday roller skating party-- people from high school were there with people from college and everyone was pissed. Also, the skating rink looked just like Razorback Roller Rink but everyone was old. Anyhow, I woke up late this morning and proceeded to rip the tights I was planning on wearing. I also was grumpy at the boy for getting in so late and was all itchy 'cause I was late for work. Once I finally got to the Metro I proceeded to lose my wallet and when putting my lunch bag down in order to dig in my bag, I cracked the bottle of the Izze I had brought with me as I wean off soda. So yeah, my lunch was covered in raspberry juice and fizzy water. I had to throw it all away, putting me in a grump and making me want to eat out for lunch. So I did. And broke my diet. Boo!!!! I've also lost edits to documents, forgotten things that were due, and had the crotch on my tights slowly riding down to my knees. I want to go home.
Failure #1... and #2
Well, I already failed my 2008 January Resolution...
#1
Went to dinner with a girlfriend and shared a pitcher of white sangria at Jaleo. Also had an orange liqueur for dessert. Seriously, though, if you'd been in on the conversation, you'd be drinking too. Girl needs some cuddle muffin time 'cause she be down right now... :(
#2
Had Manic Panic and dysfunctional family movie marathon extravaganza with the Jackster and Samwise. Helped finish off their store of booze as both of them are trying to quite drinking at home too. So kinda counterproductive (since we bought more to get through the 10 hour marathon) but whatever. I was more disappointed that the violet barely showed on Jackie's hair. Guess she's not blonde enough and we'll actually have to bleach those streaks.
Been pretty good about the food and exercise and okay on getting enough sleep, so not all bad a week in. And as Sr. Highfill always said, "Head down, face in the mud. Head up, fly like eagle!"
Monday, January 07, 2008
I'm Going to Indie Pop You One!
So this makes me sad 'cause even though I can't stand Zach Braff's and his followers' form of self-pretentious love of quasi-cool Indie bands (like, I know one of of a thousand Indie bands so now I'm going to be totally obsessed and wear big stereo headphones and just totally be awesomer than other people...but I digress and write run-on sentences), I kinda like the Shins. Apparently, though, some members of the Shins don't like their girls. In fact, they hit them.
So not cool... depending on court proceedings (and the fact that she was charged too), the Shins may have to go onto my blacklisted names along with Roman Polanski. You know, 'cause he raped that girl and then fled the country rather than dealing with the consequences in our established (albeit fucked up) legal system. Don't care if he survived the Holocaust--rape ain't cool. And neither is hitting your girl.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
This Does Not Help, People!!!
As I was pleasantly buying my groceries today, I heard two people in line behind me talking about Obama versus Hillary. One guy argued that Hillary was an "old school Democrat"* and Obama wanted change and that though he's normally a liberal Republican (what does that even mean?!) he wants change over the status quo. While I am personally also leaning for Obama (okay, anyone) over Hillary's hawkish form of "social justice," shouldn't change for change's sake be a bad reason to vote for someone? Like, what if Obama changes everything the dude actually likes and believes in?
But, the idiot was wearing this t-shirt, so I guess I shouldn't expect him to think about political complexities like that.
Seriously, what a fucktard for wearing this and saying he likes Obama for the change he is offering. Has he listened to Obama at all? 'Cause Obama is all about unity and coming together and all the stuff that this shirt* is NOT about. Not to mention all the obvious reasons* this shirt had me seething while buying my zucchini.
Oh, and it spells the plural of "ho" incorrectly. Dumbass.
*okay, seriously 30-year-old dude, take a history lesson. 1990s "New Democrat" is not old school. The New Dealers are old school, idiot...
* made by notoriously misogynistic tshirt company (swallow or it goes in your eye)
* for a full feminist discussion of the shirt, check feministing.com out
Friday, January 04, 2008
Ready, Set, Go!
Good thing Huckleberry likes wearing elbow pads 'cause I think Ryan's mom would totally win in an arm-wrestling match... without even using her arms! Seriously, that lady has so much brain and heart it's amazing. Both her and her boy are so inspiring... the Huckster needs to spread around some of that Christian love a bit more widely, methinks.
Well Hell's Bells...
Huckleberry took Iowa...
Now let's see how he does in a state where evangelicals are illegal.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Bone, Thugs, 'N' Sleepiness
I am sooooooo tired. Why the hell can't I go to bed at 10 like I need to? Why can't I, since I paid a bajillion dollars for it, let my DVR record Project Runway for me to watch the next day? Noooooooo, I just have to WATCH IT WHILE IT'S RECORDING!!!!
Now I'm Ms. Crankypants and I just want to yell at people and go home tp sleep. Not really a good start to the week, but whatever. I'll bust through some work, head home half an hour early, do a little workout and then crash. Or stay up and watch the results of the Iowan caucuses... sigh. On all accounts.
Tomorrow is always a new day! Whether I'm tired or not... or whether we have yet another Clinton (2nd verse, same as the 1st!) or Chuck Norris, mantoy...
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
why i love my boy...
Yes, my boy is a teetotaler. And no, he's not a huge reader. And sometimes, well, he wears knee-high socks non-ironically. And sure, he's kinda quiet around other people. And of course, there's his tendency to work too late and watch stupid sci-fi shows like Flash Gordan... but man, I gotta say that email conversations like these remind me of why I have made him my ball and chain...
me:
hi you!
so i got some of those headphones...i kept getting outbid by people, so i went ahead and did a buy-it-now of a higher quality of the same kind (has volume knobs on the earphones--so 1970s!)... it was closer to $40.00 than $20.00 and you can totally hate me, I get it... but i still haven't had any beer!!! and i'm going to dinner with sarah friday and i promise i won't drink. i'm watching the change and know you're an anxious cat but i just got 2 cheaper things out of my system (headphones and loafers) so now everything else is on the wait list, k? mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa!!!!
i promise i'm reformed, i know you don't believe, but don't stop believin'!!!!
the boy:
I hate you.
(message immediately after)
I'm not a cat, you are. LOVE.
me:
(referring to first message)
dude that made my heart stop. seriously, not okay. even when joking... not in print at least.
the boy:
Your next reform hearing is schedule for later this month.
I got your shoes today. It's ok you got the headphones because I'm sending back your shoes.
Seriously, I LOVE YOU.
me:
no, don't send the shoes back!!!! why are you mean?!
the boy:
Because I care. I won't send them back.
me:
You are in a funny mood. Who are you?
PS It's going to be hard not drinking... seriously, everything is based around beer!
the boy:
I think it's because you're based around beer. You're now 63% beer... seriously. I will help you through this difficult time with disapproving looks that will ignite your gilt.
me:
gilt--is that like a hilt for a sword but for gay people?
you're right, you'd think being 63% beer i'd be more drunk now, but nope, i'm not...
the boy:
So I'm missing a letter. I'm drunk from the fumes of your breath. Yea, that's what I said.
me:
haha... i'm blogging this conversation cause you're so friggin' funny! also, you might need to reglue some of the white vinyl on my vintage headphones... you know, cause you're handy and all... even if you can't spell.
the end
Seriously--the boy is WAY funnier than me. My "gilt" joke is not only lame but perhaps even slightly so nonsensical an association of words it's offensive. It's not my fault though! I'm currently compiling anti-gay/HIV hate quotes from the 1980s for work and gay was just on the membrane.
Also, I'm 63% beer.
This Year I Promise To...
Happy New Year everybody!!!
My obligatory New Year's Resolution this year is to 1) be happier and healthier by not taking things so seriously and 2) take care of my body/mind before I get too old it's pointless. As part of this I'm working on my insane need to control everything in my environment... instead I'm going to try to stop controlling people/time/feelings and just stick with nagging the inanimate objects. So yes, I'll still be annoyed about laundry in the floor and weird magazine piles, but I'll try not to be hyper-intense about work schedules, weird fits of delirium, other people's problems or tardiness. For my body/mind, I'm also going to try to not drink any alcohol this month and not drink any soda next month. Not sure what I'm giving up in March, maybe spending money? I'm going to try to keep track of how it all goes and see if there are any clear benefits. I'm pretty sure I'll fail on Month 1 and Month 3, but I bet I can kick this Coke Zero habit at the very least.
Cheers!
Friday, December 21, 2007
I'm So Sick of Numbers!!!!
Okay, so this is going to be a rant that I was not planning on blogging out, but I just can't keep it in. Recently I had several discussions with a good friend who happens to be a Libertarian. Every single discussion came to a stalemate because 1) we're both smart enough to actually have reasons for what we believe and aren't easily dissuaded and 2) we're speaking COMPLETELY different languages. Take our discussion about gentrification... Said friend wanted me to explain my complaint about the loss of diversity in my neighborhood in terms of market, in capitol. I kept saying, "Yes, I get that landlords have the right to raise rent. Yes, I get that things shouldn't just be an automatic privilege... but you're talking money and I'm talking about community and access and people." There's more to someone's contribution to a neighborhood than just their rent and if someone has libertarian leanings, I don't know if I will ever be able to articulate in their language what that is 'cause what they believe often precludes counting those things in the equation. There are so many other arguments against libertarianism (like, for example, how can you pull up your bootstraps, if you don't have any boots in the first place?) but this is neither here nor there. In the end, I love and respect my friends. Our political differences just means we sometimes see different problems in the world around us and don't use the same ways to solve them. In the end, we both hate the religious right and really, what more in common do you need?
On the other hand, Pat Robertson and I will NEVER have anything in common. This 700 Club news segment on the introduction of LGBT acceptance/understanding curriculum into West Coast schools really got my goat, for more than the obvious reasons of homophobia, blind trust in a book, lack of understanding of different people, fear of change, general ignorance, and hatred. No, Robertson upset me because he, like my friend, buttressed his argument by valuing numbers over people. Pat Robertson argues that the LGBT community has an unreasonable amount of cultural influence in comparison to its very small amount of the population. Robertson states that LGBTs are only 2-3% of the US population, but clearly are unduly affecting mainstream American culture. Legislation that asks schools to teach 5-year-olds to respect and understand their peers (regardless of if they have 2 mommies or 2 daddies or a daddy that used to be a mommy) obviously proves how entrenched this unreasonable influence is.
Okay, whatever, 2-3%* doesn't seem like much when you look at it statistically. But when you do the math and look at the amount of people, Robertson begins to look like more of a jerk than normal, if that's even possible.
So, here go my 6th grade math skills... If the population of the United States is around 312, 000, 000 let's times that by .03. What do you get?
9,360,000
9,360,000 people is hell of a lot of people, regardless of race, orientation, or gender... Hell, I personally believe we should be teaching our children respect and understanding (not toleration--I hate that condescending term) for any person that's different, even if there aren't 9, 359, 999 others. But I guess that's cause I'm a crazy believer in social justice. Silly me, living in a world of capital and statistics!
PS Hey, all you right-wing nutters out there! Why don't you stick to spouting Bible verses and leave the numbers and science to us that actually know how to use it!!!
* which is actually a really low estimate--most sources put it at around at least 10%.... but I'm using his stats for the sake of argument.
Merry Christmas, Thomas Jefferson
So, not to ride on the coattails of someone else's well written disgust of the current local disgusting carol, but seriously, these are the WORST LYRICS EVER!
It's snowing tonight in the Blue Ridge
There's a hush on the Chesapeake Bay
The chimneys are smoking in Georgetown,
And tomorrow is Christmas Day.
The Tidal Basin lies quiet
The tourists have found their way home
Mr. Jefferson's standing the mid-watch
And there's a star on the Capitol Dome.
It's Christmas Eve in Washington,
America's hometown
It's here that freedom lives,
And peace can stand her ground
While "googling" the song, though, I came up with one I say we vote to replace it... It's a protest song on a 1997 Steve Earle album called Christmas in Washington. Give a listen and you'll find that though it doesn't have the pretty vibrato of the current radio repeat, it's REAL MUSIC!
Christmas In Washington
(Steve Earle)
It's Christmastime in Washington
The Democrats rehearsed
Gettin' into gear for four more years
Things not gettin' worse
The Republicans drink whiskey neat
And thanked their lucky stars
They said, 'He cannot seek another term
They'll be no more FDRs'
I sat home in Tennessee
Staring at the screen
With an uneasy feeling in my chest
And I'm wonderin' what it means
Chorus:
So come back Woody Guthrie
Come back to us now
Tear your eyes from paradise
And rise again somehow
If you run into Jesus
Maybe he can help you out
Come back Woody Guthrie to us now
I followed in your footsteps once
Back in my travelin' days
Somewhere I failed to find your trail
Now I'm stumblin' through the haze
But there's killers on the highway now
And a man can't get around
So I sold my soul for wheels that roll
Now I'm stuck here in this town
Chorus
There's foxes in the hen house
Cows out in the corn
The unions have been busted
Their proud red banners torn
To listen to the radio
You'd think that all was well
But you and me and Cisco know
It's going straight to hell
So come back, Emma Goldman
Rise up, old Joe Hill
The barricades are goin' up
They cannot break our will
Come back to us, Malcolm X
And Martin Luther King
We're marching into Selma
As the bells of freedom ring
Chorus
Now that's the Washington that gives me buzzies in my stomach....
Ah, To Be Young...
I came across this great feature on Jezebel.com today and it made me very happy. It's a review (apparently a regular feature) of beloved young adult and children's literature. I'm excited because I hope it will bring up books I've forgotten about as I continue my recent (non-blogged about) obsession with the very same thing! Since the summer of 2006, I've been trying to read more Newbury Award Winners or children's classics to break up the "high end literature" and academic crap. So far, I've made it through The Giver, Witch of Blackbird Pond, Matilda, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Numbers the Stars, His Dark Materials, Chronicles of Narnia (yes, even the Last Battle), Wrinkle in Time, Swiftly Tilting Planet, Anne of Green Gables, Jacob Have I Love (I totally identified with Louise, being a brunette and socially awkward fraternal twin myself) and The Last Unicorn. It's not a super huge list yet, but I'm hoping to expand it. Perhaps I can finally start another book club and we can focus on non-threatening and time consuming books like these...
Anybody have any "must read" suggestions from their childhood for me?
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Pull That Thermometer Out, Pa, That Turkey's Done!
I finished my Christmas shopping!!!!!!!! And I bought almost all of it from locally owned DC stores, so extra high five to me!
I can't post all of what I got here cause, well, the five people who read this blog are the people I got presents for, but I can't resist showing you what I got the boy for his stocking stuff. Don't worry, he can't read anyhow so he won't know!
It's a MOUSE CHEESE GRATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love animals of all kinds, commodified, functionalized, anthropomorphized, I don't care! Monkeys, kittens, fishies, hippoty-hops, puppies, mouses are guarenteed to make me smile.
And help me grate cheese :)
Things I Love About the Green Line
- Getting all of my XMAS shopping done in one night and at all locally owned stores
- Feeding my tired self chicken roti and chala at the Islander
- Observing the regulars at Wednesday Karaoke at the Islander
- Really super excited passerby clapping and smiling and giggling with adoration for singer from OUTSIDE the restaurant
- Running into a friend that I don't see often in Metro station
- Being guilted into getting a drink at the Wonderland with said (drunk) friend even though I should be sleeping/wrapping presents
- Running into some other friends at bar, drinking a lovely beer, making some new friends and still getting to bed by 11:00pm because I live two blocks away!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Don't Stand So Close to Me
Well, my coworkers and I decided to go to lunch today and as we were driving back, we were not 100 feet from the opening of the work gates when a police car jumps in front of us and proceeds to stop all traffic...foot included. Apparently something was going on at the government hospital across from us that involved the Big Cheese or the Man Behind the Big Cheese because 3 government helicopters fly over, men with guns stand guard, and traffic is stopped. I had had three diet cokes and that was seriously not cool. This is one of those pretentious Washington D.C. things that really irks me.
Boo.
Seriously, Have We Time Traveled?
Are we back in the 1950s or something where a smart, successful young woman dreams only of getting knocked up? Seriously, Jessica Alba, Britney Spears, and now, Lily Allen? I am honestly in shock at trend for young baby-makin'! As a feminist, I totally believe it's everyone's personal choice... and these woman certainly have the financial and professional ability to have babies at 22 years old, versus most of us.
But I do have to admit, I'm a bit confused. I might even admit that I'm a little judgemental, even if my politics don't want me to be.
Zoey 101 + 1
It is sad that when I heard that Jamie Lynn Spears was pregnant, I giggled? I mean, who didn't see this coming? Apparently Jamie Lynn herself, who said "It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected." What?! "Oh, so I decided to have sex (which I've been told by both my fancy private tutors and my church is how we reproduce in our species) and you know what, I couldn't even believe it, but out of NOWHERE, for some insane unrelated reason, I got pregnant!"
Unexpected is not the correct word, Ms. Spears. I think the "un" word you mean is "unplanned."
Seriously, didn't anyone in the Spears brood learn about condom use!?!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Like It's a Surprise?!!
So the New York Times had a recent article about how the rich are getting richer faster than ever before. More disturbingly, it says that increase in incomes alone for the wealthiest people is greater than the poorest 20% annual income. I mean, maybe I'm not good at math or something, but it certainly doesn't seem like "trickle down" is working. More like, "holding everything I can get in a bucket instead of sharing," if you ask me.
Monday, December 17, 2007
XMAS funk
So, I normally am brimming at the top with XMAS ideas for the fam. I really get along with my peeps, so I usually can find them fun things that they really appreciate. This year, NOTHING. I have some ideas, but haven't had the time to get to follow through. Seriously, I am not stressed at work and pressed for time everywhere else. I have friends in town practically every weekend (not complaining, but it does mean commitment) and I've been cooking dinner and working out more. And trying to get more sleep. Know what that means? About -1.5 hours free time every night. I don't understand how people do it. Must be cocaine cause my " diet coke" ain't cuttin' it....
Bitch bitch moan moan complain....
Merry Christmukkwanzayulesolstice!!!
There's nothing like...
... getting a new Mac! I'm writing this on our new iMac. Sure it took some arm wrestling, but I got the boy the next best thing to a G5 tower. Course maybe if the G5 towers didn't have wonky DVD slots and insane jet-loud fans, they'd be worth the extra $1500. Seriously, Apple, get a move on already!
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Old School Sesame Street
So, with the new (and mildly pornographic) Tickle Me Elmo commercials, I've been thinking about how glad I was pre-fuzzy red & cute generation. I mean, check the commercial out--what is he doing behind those blurry cubes?
To cleanse our pallet here's some Old School Street celebrating (in the words of a recent NY Times review) a place where "the masonry on the dingy brownstone at 123 Sesame Street, where the closeted Ernie and Bert shared a dismal basement apartment, was deteriorating. Cookie Monster was on a fast track to diabetes. Oscar’s depression was untreated. Prozacky Elmo didn’t exist."
Here's Grampa Manslaughter's fave
And my fave
So, here's to pre-helicopter parents and dingy brownstones and a world without perpetually happy Elmo! Without Oscar the Grouch, my anxiety and depression would never had been normalized and thank god for that.
I'm an idiot...
Because I took so much time off to visit my now-deceased grandfather, I have to work about an extra 24 hours to take off the full week of Christmas. So, I get up early on Saturday, trek 45 minutes up to work, ready to put in a full day before settling down to drink some beer and head out for a party... and I don't have my keys to my office. I'm an idiot.
So what did I do next? I trekked back home, got in my pajamas, opened some beer and felt sorry for myself. That's right, beer solves everything.
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