As some of you may recall, I wrote a post where I was somewhat excited to live in an area where my type of physique is considered attractive. Now it didn't mean that I thought that sexually objectifying women was fine, cause it's not. And it also didn't mean that sometimes it crossed an unexplainable line that made me feel, well, harassed. Lately, that line as been crossed so much that I'm constantly pissed walking down the street or going to my staff cafeteria. Seriously, at a library, I'm getting bullshit like, "You're so beautiful, oh you're married, he won't mind," or "Are you German?" (what does that even mean?) or "You must be a Capricorn because of all the earth tones you're wearing" (for the record, I'm a Pisces). Now, these sound fairly harmless, but when accompanied by that little something creepy--slowing down a car, standing too close, following me to my office--it takes on that "other" quality that makes me feel icky instead of, well, secretly flattered.
And then, this week, it totally hit me. The "line" is totally in the meaning behind the eyes. Sure, street harassment is a sign of rape culture, but sometimes the person doing it just seems like what I'm calling, "The Flirt." "The Flirt" is where the man will cajole me and smile or charm or say silly things like "Do you have an apple because you make eating that one look so good" until I finally give him my number, take his, smile, or just say hello. Or I walk away without any contact. But I do feel like I can walk away.
The other, which I'm now calling "The Leer," is the complete opposite. He turns my stomach, makes me feel trapped (even if the person is in a car 20 feet away), makes me feel unsafe, and, to put it mildly, makes me feel like an receptacle for his penis. These are the multiplying moments where I feel like I might not have the choice to walk away. Unlike "the Flirt" who would just beg for my number, "the Leer" would assault me if given half a chance.
Let's just say that sort of attention from men doesn't make me feel pretty. In fact, it doesn't make any woman feel pretty. Or, for that matter, safe.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Flirt versus Leer
Sunday, March 25, 2007
DC Rollergirls Expo Checklist
- Feministy girls of all shapes and sizes-- check
- Friends to go along for the ride, even if it is out in assfuck Virginia-- check
- Love of concession stand hotdogs-- check
- Inexplicable presence of really overly familiar bikers seemingly not related to anyone on the team-- check
- Amazingly (and area appropriate) punny team names like Scare Force One and Demoncats-- check
- Short skirts and hot pink (or blue) wheels-- check
- Halftime show that made me sorta want to (re) watch Roll Bounce-- check
- Mmmm, hot dogs... oh wait did that one already--- check again
- 2 hours of speed, falls, pushing, obscene finger gestures, tights and skates--check
- The above making me want to join-- check
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Second Class Citizen
The voting rights bill stalled... stupid Republicans. I especially love how they want to force democracy on the rest of the world, but there are half a million people here in our capitol city who don't have the right to vote. Fuck. Does that mean I don't have to pay federal taxes and can throw tea into the nearest harbour?
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Another One Bites the Dust...
Another year, another birthday, another festivity where I eat chicken with my hands. Yes folks, Andrew and my joint bday party this year involved our requisite libations, show, and hand-held chicken. This time we ate at the famous Moroccan restaurant Marakkesh and along with a sparkler-topped birthday baklava, we ate up the undulating stomach of their nightly belly dancer. Seriously, the balance, stamina and muscles on that lady! Of course, if my job was to dance practically naked (covered only in sparklies and silk) I would probably work extra hard to have a flat stomach. Good thing I work in a museum and wear head-to-toe business casual--my belly can be as wobbly as my sweater set can cover!
The rest of my birthday was also great--the boy took me shopping for some new rugs, a new modern chair and some wall hangings. We spent yesterday walking around U street in the post wintry-mix (also known as "God's tired of me saying he doesn't exist birthday punishment") of the day before. We also had lunch at Cafe Saint-Ex (finally!) and found this gem of a thrift store, Ruff N Ready. We walked in assuming that it would be a flea market and it was...a flea market on crack. Stuff was piled to the ceiling in three buildings and you could barely walk through it. You couldn't even see half of the stuff they were selling! The final building had holes in the ceiling and buckets catching water to save the stash. This place had everything from old stoplights to victorian armoires to rotting doors. And all surprisingly overpriced for what it was (45 dollars for an old Mexican feather picture? Really?) Of course, I'm sure that the owners would barter just to make space for more stuff they took from the local dumpsters. It was seriously an awe-inspiring experience.*
So, another year in my life bites the dust and I have to say that 25 was definitely better than 24. Got my dream job, found a new place in the city, didn't have anybody die and finished grad school. Can't wait to see what happens this year. Especially if it ends with a party where I eat chicken with my little grubby hands.
*I took pictures with my new camera phone, but the bluetooth isn't recognizing my Mac. I'll keep trying.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Oh...
...and I will be performing on my violin for the first time in 5 years this Sunday. Let's just say it's not quite like riding a bike.
Always Low Price...Except When It Adds Up
So, had a great time at home and spent way too much money, as is ought to happen in AR. Bought 29 new books at the used book store (brought a suitcase just for this) and spent gobs at Wal-Mart. See the $5 movies seem great and cheap when you're putting them in the cart, but when you get to checkout, those 15 new movies add up. Oh well, at least I have books and movies and new shirts galore, right? Ah, gotta love consumer culture!
Oh and seeing Grandpa was good too. :)
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Defrosting...
I'm waiting for my chicken to defrost (I'm making Peanut Chicken for dinner...yum yum) and watching the ice and snow from the past two weeks melt with the warm rain and just feeling really good. Things are really on the up and up for me. I got a handle on my workload (which is allowing me to do really fun stuff, like blog at work about work for our upcoming exhibition website), I have an ever-growing group of amazing friends in DC, I've been cooking and working out nightly, I like my husband most of the time, and I just got some awesome new spectacles (the one benefit of being blind is the chance to accessorize). I know that last plus is super shallow but whatever.
Anyhow, I'm off to Arkansas for the weekend. Part of me wishes I were using my vacation time for exciting things like New York or SF or something, but home is where I need to go. I want to see my family and I really need to spend time with my Grandpa while he's cognizant of what's going on. Seriously, I have my entire life to ignore my family... But really, I do love Arkansas. I'm not one of those people who left because I hated it there and I certainly won't say that the roads I take won't lead me back (Head Curator of the Clinton Library would be pretty sweet, don't you think?)...
Well, time to cook some rice noodles and pack for my trip.
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