Defining Feminism

Sara had a really great comment to my post where Palin's anti-woman policies boggled my mind:

omg. that's ridiculously puke-a-licious. as much as i am a third-waver (championing the widespread use of the "feminist" label), its moments like these that i think... hmmm... perhaps we should enforce a little restriction on the use of this word! seriously.

Like Sara, I, too, want more people (men, women, whatever) to embrace feminism and I certainly don't want Palin to be treated with sexism... but, she's not a feminist.

Here's a great (but long-ish) discussion on this topic:


The Feminist Press' Gloria Jacobs and Feministing.com's Courtney Martin Discuss Sarah Palin from Brian Lehrer Live on Vimeo.

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We still make less...

Emily sent me this link from the Washington Post about the wage gap and its relation to ideas about gender roles... Apparently, feminist men (men that believe in employment equality between men and women) make less than men that subscribe to more "traditional" views of gender roles.  The study doesn't go into the why, but I find it very interesting that people who want equality in this country are often the biggest losers.  Of course, egalitarian women, such as myself, still make less than egalitarian men, proving that no matter what, the gap is gender-only related... and, surprise, surprise, women who believe in the same "traditional" views of gender roles that get rich, powerful men richer, get paid the least of any group. 

Wonder what that means for Palin?

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See, DC is AWESOME!

'Cause we don't suck!  Apparently, DC is so "small town" in nature that it doesn't even qualify as one of the top ten stressful cities in the US!  The criteria was pollution, unemployment, population density, and housing costs.  Seriously, we're not worse than Providence, RI?  Ah, well, I'll just take this as more validation that living in DC doesn't make me any less cool than someone living in NY.  I'm actually just less cool because I read fanfiction and work in a library.

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I mean, I know...

...that our education system has failed us and US history is basically taught as hero worship 101, but... you'd think that most politicians of a certain age would have enough historical perspective to know that when they use the word "uppity" about Barack Obama, THEY BE SAYIN' HARD-EFFIN-CORE RACIST SHITE!!!! 

Oh, wait.  I get it.  They DO know what it means.  Republican Asshats.*

*Yes, I know, I'm not elevating the dialogue by cursing and generalizing, but you know what, my brain exploded the first time I heard someone "legitimately" use this word during this campaign AND IT KEEPS HAPPENING!!!  GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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My heart just broke...

Sesame Street is teaming up with the Department of Homeland Security.  Yes, you heard me right-- HOMELAND SECURITY!!!!!!!! Now, it's not as if I want small children to NOT know how to find Mommy and Daddy (or Mommy and Mommy or Daddy and Daddy or just Daddy or not really my Mommy except by marriage 'cause my real Mommy went away mad, well you get the picture) in an emergency, I just want Sesame Street to remain the wonderful, progressive, diverse, and inclusive show that made me the bleeding heart, hippity-dippity, feminist, pinko-commie leftie that I am today. 

The world would be a much better place.  We wouldn't even need to know where the duct-tape was, 'cause we'd all be huggin' it out.

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I'm too busy...

... at work to write something like this about how I've been feeling this election (and, well, always, growing up in the buckle of the Bible Belt).  Besides, this is a pretty damn good summary if the inanity and inequities of our culture.  So, I'm reprinting the original source here...


THIS IS YOUR NATION ON WHITE PRIVILEGE


For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin' redneck," like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their fuckin' ass," and talk about how you like to "shoot shit" for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you're "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office–since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't added until the 1950s–while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto is "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she's being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do–like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor–and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college and the fact that she lives close to Russia–you're somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because suddenly your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look."

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is when you can take nearly twenty-four hours to get to a hospital after beginning to leak amniotic fluid, and still be viewed as a great mom whose commitment to her children is unquestionable, and whose "next door neighbor" qualities make her ready to be VP, while if you're a black candidate for president and you let your children be interviewed for a few seconds on TV, you're irresponsibly exploiting them.

White privilege is being able to give a 36 minute speech in which you talk about lipstick and make fun of your opponent, while laying out no substantive policy positions on any issue at all, and still manage to be considered a legitimate candidate, while a black person who gives an hour speech the week before, in which he lays out specific policy proposals on several issues, is still criticized for being too vague about what he would do if elected.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to go to a prestigious prep school, then to Yale and then Harvard Business school, and yet, still be seen as just an average guy (George W. Bush) while being black, going to a prestigious prep school, then Occidental College, then Columbia, and then to Harvard Law, makes you "uppity," and a snob who probably looks down on regular folks.

White privilege is being able to graduate near the bottom of your college class (McCain), or graduate with a C average from Yale (W.) and that's OK, and you're cut out to be president, but if you're black and you graduate near the top of your class from Harvard Law, you can't be trusted to make good decisions in office.

White privilege is being able to dump your first wife after she's disfigured in a car crash so you can take up with a multi-millionaire beauty queen (who you go on to call the c-word in public) and still be thought of as a man of strong family values, while if you're black and married for nearly twenty years to the same woman, your family is viewed as un-American and your gestures of affection for each other are called "terrorist fist bumps."

White privilege is being able to sing a song about bombing Iran and still be viewed as a sober and rational statesman, with the maturity to be president, while being black and suggesting that the U.S. should speak with other nations, even when we have disagreements with them, makes you "dangerously naive and immature."

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism and an absent father is apparently among the "lesser adversities" faced by other politicians, as Sarah Palin explained in her convention speech.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren't sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it's just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain.

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Written by Tim Wise

via: Red Room and Write for Freedom

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Bosom Buddies

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Like all great pairs...

... beer and pizza, laurel and hardy, beer and mexican food, khakis and polo shirts, beer and chinese food, kirk and spock... there's harry potter and voting!!!

and amen to their "about us"

About Us

Did you ever wish that Harry Potter was real? Well it kind of is. After all, both our worlds face "dark and difficult times":

• Genocide, Poverty, AIDS, and Global Warming are ignored by our media and governments the way Voldemort's return is ignored by the Ministry and Daily Prophet.
• People are still discriminated against based on sexuality, race, class, religion, gender, ethnicity, and religion just as the Wizarding World continues to discriminate against Centaurs, Giants, House Elves, Half-Bloods, Muggle borns, Squibs, and Muggles
• Our governments continue to respond to terror by torturing prisoners (often without trial) just as Sirius Black was tortured by dementors with no trial
• A Muggle Mindset pervades over our culture-a mindset that values being "perfectly normal, thank you very much" over being interesting, original, loving, and creative

So Harry's world is not very different than ours. And just as in his world, Dumbledore will remain here as long as there are those that are loyal to him. As long as there are those that are aware that the weapon we have is love and that more than ever, it's time to use that weapon.

And so the HP Alliance is dedicated to bringing together Harry Potter fans from everywhere to spread love and fight the Dark Arts in the real world and we need your help!

Help us replace the Dark Arts with love. Help us build the real Dumbledore's Army. Help us create an Alliance in the name of Harry Potter.

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Okay, the gloves are off...

Sarah Palin, while self-proclaimed feminist mayor, made rape victims pay for their own rape kits. 

WHAT. THE. FUCK. ?!?!?!?.

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Broken Record

Well, it's been an exciting week filled with late-night speeches (well, for me on the East Coast) and hopeful rhetoric and calls to make America better.  Of course, I can't watch any of it on the major news channels because 1) they won't shut the fuck up and let me hear the speeches 2) they are so full of crap about themselves and what they think is true that nothing coming out of their mouth is what any reasonable person would call "analysis" or, ahem, "journalism"... so to summarize, I hate CNN, MSNBC, and Fox because THEY WON'T STOP TELLING EVERYBODY WHAT HAPPENED AND LET IT HAPPEN INSTEAD!!! GOD!!!!!! 

Instead, the boy and I have been watching public television for our convention coverage and the other day we caught a replay on CSPAN of a gem of an old speech.  It was 1988 and no one outside of Texas had even heard of the formidable Ann Richards, but there she was, giving the keynote speech that would eventually lead to her being governor of Texas.  Listening to it, I sat on my couch and cried and cheered and cried some more as I realized that over 20 years ago, Ann was calling for us to do the same things that we are still having to ask for today.  The same rights, the same reasonable spending, the same equality, the same COMMON SENSE that we need right now, 20 years ago that bastion of straight talk was asking, no demanding, that American can do better.  The same as Obama did last night... Maybe this time we can actually do it.

Here's a transcript of the speech and an MP3 of the speech.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, very much.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Buenas noches, mis amigos.

I'm delighted to be here with you this evening, because after listening to George Bush all these years, I figured you needed to know what a real Texas accent sounds like.

Twelve years ago Barbara Jordan, another Texas woman, Barbara made the keynote address to this convention, and two women in a hundred and sixty years is about par for the course.

But if you give us a chance, we can perform. After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels.

I want to announce to this Nation that in a little more than 100 days, the Reagan -Meese - Deaver - Nofziger - Poindexter - North - Weinberger - Watt - Gorsuch -Lavelle - Stockman - Haig - Bork - Noriega - George Bush [era] will be over!

You know, tonight I feel a little like I did when I played basketball in the 8th grade. I thought I looked real cute in my uniform. And then I heard a boy yell from the bleachers, "Make that basket, bird legs." And my greatest fear is that same guy is somewhere out there in the audience tonight, and he's going to cut me down to size, because where I grew up there really wasn't much tolerance for self-importance, people who put on airs.

I was born during the Depression in a little community just outside Waco, and I grew up listening to Franklin Roosevelt on the radio.  Well, it was back then that I came to understand the small truths and the hardships that bind neighbors together. Those were real people with real problems and they had real dreams about getting out of the Depression.  I can remember summer nights when we'd put down what we called the Baptist pallet, and we listened to the grown-ups talk.  I can still hear the sound of the dominoes clicking on the marble slab my daddy had found for a tabletop.  I can still hear the laughter of the men telling jokes you weren't supposed to hear -- talkin' about how big that old buck deer was, laughin' about mama puttin' Clorox in the well when the frog fell in.

They talked about war and Washington and what this country needed. They talked straight talk. And it came from people who were living their lives as best they could. And that's what we're gonna do tonight. We're gonna tell how the cow ate the cabbage.

I got a letter last week from a young mother in Lorena, Texas, and I wanna read part of it to you. She writes,

"Our worries go from pay day to pay day, just like millions of others. And we have two fairly decent incomes, but I worry how I'm going to pay the rising car insurance and food. I pray my kids don't have a growth spurt from August to December, so I don't have to buy new jeans. We buy clothes at the budget stores and we have them fray and fade and stretch in the first wash. We ponder and try to figure out how we're gonna pay for college and braces and tennis shoes. We don't take vacations and we don't go out to eat. Please don't think me ungrateful. We have jobs and a nice place to live, and we're healthy. We're the people you see every day in the grocery stores, and we obey the laws. We pay our taxes. We fly our flags on holidays and we plod along trying to make it better for ourselves and our children and our parents. We aren't vocal any more. I think maybe we're too tired. I believe that people like us are forgotten in America."

Well of course you believe you're forgotten, because you have been.

This Republican Administration treats us as if we were pieces of a puzzle that can't fit together. They've tried to put us into compartments and separate us from each other. Their political theory is "divide and conquer." They've suggested time and time again that what is of interest to one group of Americans is not of interest to any one else. We've been isolated. We've been lumped into that sad phraseology called "special interests." They've told farmers that they were selfish, that they would drive up food prices if they asked the government to intervene on behalf of the family farm, and we watched farms go on the auction block while we bought food from foreign countries. Well, that's wrong!

They told working mothers it's all their fault -- their families are falling apart because they had to go to work to keep their kids in jeans and tennis shoes and college. And they're wrong!! They told American labor they were trying to ruin free enterprise by asking for 60 days' notice of plant closings, and that's wrong. And they told the auto industry and the steel industry and the timber industry and the oil industry, companies being threatened by foreign products flooding this country, that you're "protectionist" if you think the government should enforce our trade laws. And that is wrong. When they belittle us for demanding clean air and clean water for trying to save the oceans and the ozone layer, that's wrong.

No wonder we feel isolated and confused. We want answers and their answer is that "something is wrong with you."  Well nothing's wrong with you. Nothing's wrong with you that you can't fix in November!

We've been told -- We've been told that the interests of the South and the Southwest are not the same interests as the North and the Northeast. They pit one group against the other. They've divided this country and in our isolation we think government isn't gonna help us, and we're alone in our feelings. We feel forgotten. Well, the fact is that we are not an isolated piece of their puzzle. We are one nation. We are the United States of America.

Now we Democrats believe that America is still the county of fair play, that we can come out of a small town or a poor neighborhood and have the same chance as anyone else; and it doesn't matter whether we are black or Hispanic or disabled or a women [sic]. We believe that America is a country where small business owners must succeed, because they are the bedrock, backbone of our economy.

We believe that our kids deserve good daycare and public schools. We believe our kids deserve public schools where students can learn and teachers can teach. And we wanna believe that our parents will have a good retirement and that we will too. We Democrats believe that social security is a pact that can not be broken.

We wanna believe that we can live out our lives without the terrible fear that an illness is going to bankrupt us and our children.  We Democrats believe that America can overcome any problem, including the dreaded disease called AIDS.  We believe that America is still a country where there is more to life than just a constant struggle for money. And we believe that America must have leaders who show us that our struggles amount to something and contribute to something larger -- leaders who want us to be all that we can be.

We want leaders like Jesse Jackson. Jesse Jackson is a leader and a teacher who can open our hearts and open our minds and stir our very souls. And he has taught us that we are as good as our capacity for caring, caring about the drug problem, caring about crime, caring about education, and caring about each other.

Now, in contrast, the greatest nation of the free world has had a leader for eight straight years that has pretended that he can not hear our questions over the noise of the helicopters. And we know he doesn't wanna answer. But we have a lot of questions.  And when we get our questions asked, or there is a leak, or an investigation the only answer we get is, "I don't know," or "I forgot."

But you wouldn't accept that answer from your children. I wouldn't. "Don't tell me you 'don't know' or you 'forgot.'" We're not going to have the America that we want until we elect leaders who are gonna tell the truth; not most days but every day; leaders who don't forget what they don't want to remember. And for eight straight years George Bush hasn't displayed the slightest interest in anything we care about. And now that he's after a job that he can't get appointed to, he's like Columbus discovering America. He's found child care. He's found education. Poor George. He can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.

Well, no wonder. No wonder we can't figure it out. Because the leadership of this nation is telling us one thing on TV and doing something entirely different. They tell us -- They tell us that they're fighting a war against terrorists. And then we find out that the White House is selling arms to the Ayatollah. They -- They tell us that they're fighting a war on drugs and then people come on TV and testify that the CIA and the DEA and the FBI knew they were flying drugs into America all along. And they're negotiating with a dictator who is shoveling cocaine into this country like crazy. I guess that's their Central American strategy.

Now they tell us that employment rates are great, and that they're for equal opportunity. But we know it takes two paychecks to make ends meet today, when it used to take one. And the opportunity they're so proud of is low-wage, dead-end jobs. And there is no major city in America where you cannot see homeless men sitting in parking lots holding signs that say, "I will work for food."

Now my friends, we really are at a crucial point in American history. Under this Administration we have devoted our resources into making this country a military colossus. But we've let our economic lines of defense fall into disrepair. The debt of this nation is greater than it has ever been in our history. We fought a world war on less debt than the Republicans have built up in the last eight years. You know, it's kind of like that brother-in-law who drives a flashy new car, but he's always borrowing money from you to make the payments.

Well, but let's take what they are most proudest of -- that is their stand of defense. We Democrats are committed to a strong America, and, quite frankly, when our leaders say to us, "We need a new weapons system," our inclination is to say, "Well, they must be right."  But when we pay billions for planes that won't fly, billions for tanks that won't fire, and billions for systems that won't work, "that old dog won't hunt." And you don't have to be from Waco to know that when the Pentagon makes crooks rich and doesn't make America strong, that it's a bum deal.

Now I'm going to tell you, I'm really glad that our young people missed the Depression and missed the great Big War. But I do regret that they missed the leaders that I knew, leaders who told us when things were tough, and that we'd have to sacrifice, and that these difficulties might last for a while. They didn't tell us things were hard for us because we were different, or isolated, or special interests. They brought us together and they gave us a sense of national purpose. They gave us Social Security and they told us they were setting up a system where we could pay our own money in, and when the time came for our retirement we could take the money out. People in the rural areas were told that we deserved to have electric lights, and they were gonna harness the energy that was necessary to give us electricity so my grandmamma didn't have to carry that old coal oil lamp around. And they told us that they were gonna guarant[ee] when we put our money in the bank, that the money was going to be there, and it was going to be insured. They did not lie to us.

And I think one of the saving graces of Democrats is that we are candid. We talk straight talk. We tell people what we think. And that tradition and those values live today in Michael Dukakis from Massachusetts.

Michael Dukakis knows that this country is on the edge of a great new era, that we're not afraid of change, that we're for thoughtful, truthful, strong leadership. Behind his calm there's an impatience to unify this country and to get on with the future. His instincts are deeply American. They're tough and they're generous. And personally, I have to tell you that I have never met a man who had a more remarkable sense about what is really important in life.

And then there's my friend and my teacher for many years, Senator Lloyd Bentsen. And I couldn't be prouder, both as a Texan and as a Democrat, because Lloyd Bentsen understands America. From the barrio to the boardroom, he knows how to bring us together, by regions, by economics, and by example. And he's already beaten George Bush once.

So, when it comes right down to it, this election is a contest between those who are satisfied with what they have and those who know we can do better. That's what this election is really all about. It's about the American dream -- those who want to keep it for the few and those who know it must be nurtured and passed along.

I'm a grandmother now. And I have one nearly perfect granddaughter named Lily. And when I hold that grandbaby, I feel the continuity of life that unites us, that binds generation to generation, that ties us with each other. And sometimes I spread that Baptist pallet out on the floor, and Lily and I roll a ball back and forth. And I think of all the families like mine, like the one in Lorena, Texas, like the ones that nurture children all across America. And as I look at Lily, I know that it is within families that we learn both the need to respect individual human dignity and to work together for our common good.  Within our families, within our nation, it is the same.

And as I sit there, I wonder if she'll ever grasp the changes I've seen in my life -- if she'll ever believe that there was a time when blacks could not drink from public water fountains, when Hispanic children were punished for speaking Spanish in the public schools, and women couldn't vote.

I think of all the political fights I've fought, and all the compromises I've had to accept as part payment. And I think of all the small victories that have added up to national triumphs and all the things that would never have happened and all the people who would've been left behind if we had not reasoned and fought and won those battles together. And I will tell Lily that those triumphs were Democratic Party triumphs.

I want so much to tell Lily how far we've come, you and I. And as the ball rolls back and forth, I want to tell her how very lucky she is that for all our difference, we are still the greatest nation on this good earth. And our strength lies in the men and women who go to work every day, who struggle to balance their family and their jobs, and who should never, ever be forgotten.

I just hope that like her grandparents and her great-grandparents before that Lily goes on to raise her kids with the promise that echoes in homes all across America: that we can do better, and that's what this election is all about.

Thank you very much.

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I'm not even going to bother...

responding to this since several commentators on the post site have done a great job, as have the writers and commentators over at feministing.com, but I had to post this absolutely horrible op-ed by Peter Hitchens (yes, brother of idiot Christopher who makes me embarrassed to be an atheist).  I know I've been rather quiet lately, but we're house-hunting and busy at work, blah blah blah... I will update soon and leave you with the article for now.  Ciao.

How the Left censored the blindingly obvious truth about rape

This is Peter Hitchens' Mail on Sunday column

Women who get drunk are more likely to be raped than women who do not get drunk. No, this does not excuse rape.

Men who take advantage of women by raping them, drunk or sober, should be severely punished for this wicked, treacherous action, however stupid the victim may have been. But it does mean that a rape victim who was drunk deserves less sympathy.

Simple, isn't it? You can hate rape and want it punished, while still recognising that a woman who, say, goes back to a man's home after several Bacardi Breezers was being a bit dim.

Yet a wave of hysterical ultra-feminist propaganda has this week forced a State agency to reverse a perfectly sensible decision to cut compensation to rape victims who were drunk.

Personally, I'm not sure where all this 'compensation' came from. It used to be grudgingly paid out. Now it flows in tens of millions (£200million last year) from the taxpayers' pockets into the hands of the wronged.

I suspect it is the result of the almost total failure of the criminal justice system to prevent crime, catch culprits or punish them when caught. Instead of offering justice, the state provides a cheque.

So I suppose we must resign ourselves to the fact that a growing slice of our taxes will be handed over to victims of unsolved rapes, while rape itself increases – the inevitable result of the collapse of sexual morality.

But I cannot see why women who ignore the wisdom of the ages, and make themselves more likely to be victims by drinking too much, should get the same size cheque as women who are raped despite acting responsibly.

Someone called Bridget Prentice, a one-time teacher who now has the banana republic title of Justice Minister, actually said last week that 'a victim of rape is not in any way culpable due to alcohol consumption'.

This is flatly untrue and she must know it is. Of course she is culpable, just as she would be culpable if she crashed a car and injured someone while drunk, or stepped out into the traffic while drunk and was run over. Getting drunk is not something that happens to you. It is something you do.

Nor is being drunk – which makes you miss danger signals, make bad judgments, lose consciousness in unsafe places and then lose your memory, too – comparable with 'dressing provocatively' as the feminist thought police would like to pretend.

If women want to dress provocatively, then they should be free to do so, and I say thanks a lot to those who do. Our society is based on self-restraint. We can be provoked and still behave ourselves.

We do not need to compel women to dress like bats, as many Muslim countries do, so as to curb the unchained passions of hot-blooded menfolk.

All the above is a statement of the blindingly obvious. Yet, in the main forums of public opinion, such views are becoming harder and harder to express because of the unreasoning storm of fury that will follow.

The collapse of the Tory party into the arms of Leftism has made this much worse, particularly on the BBC, which no longer feels any duty to give airtime to social and moral conservatives.

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Rest In Peace, Piggle Wiggles

My beloved guinea pig Penelope passed away this weekend. She was 6 years old, which is pretty old for a guinea pig, but we still wish we'd had more time...

Penny came into our lives as one of my anxiety purchases and I have to say that she was the best item I've gotten... I originally thought she would be like having a furry lump that sqeaked, but she turned out to be the smartest, funniest, sweetest, and most rambunctious little thing I've ever been lucky enough to know. When she wasn't licking my fingers, standing on her hind legs to explore, or running around the house like a crazy person, she was trying to escape to the kitchen to get food from the giant box she had figured out stored lettuce. One smart (and fat) cookie.

She will be missed. Greatly.

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I tried...

...to have a good time on my vacation, but my body just wouldn't agree!!!

So, despite amazing weather, great friends, family, and the boy, I was a bit of a cranky puss.

Here's my list of ailments:

1. I got food poisoning on the second night. Bleck. But it was a gorgeous sunset...



2. I got a sore tailbone and many, many bruises jumping 20 feet into this amazing Mayan sinkhole. I have to say, this ailment was totally worth it! So much so, this pic is of my jumping the second time, despite being in so much pain I could barely walk. Rock on!



3. I got a severe sunburn relaxing in the cabana, despite using 70 spf Aveeno spray. Caution to all at risk burners out there: when the spray bottle is nearly done, just throw it out. The bottom is more liquid than sunscreen as my mottled skin can attest to. Seriously, I'm all dark tan and pale splotchy. What's the point of pain if I don't at least end up with hot, evenly dark legs?



4. I caught strep throat and a sinus infection. Yeah, that's right. You heard me. So, basically, I spent the last three days in paradise in bed, while others went and played with dolphins... at least I had all-inclusive room service!!!!


But, since I'm not really a Debbie Downer, here's all the good stuff:

1. Amazing location! It was so beautiful and warm and amazing... good food, unlimited cocktails (though I went easy on them since I didn't feel so hot... so sad, I know)... It was really a relaxing place to be.



2. Exploring archaeological treasures was great, including Chichen-Itza and the aforementioned Mayan sinkhole.





3. I got to swim with dolphins!!!! Many of my closest friends and family know that my secret wish was to be a marine biologist when I grew up... sure, I have a great career now, but part of me is still totally fascinated by the sea and being near such amazing creatures was one of the highlights of my life. I got to rub her belly and she gave me a footpush!



So, I guess I have to say I'd do it all over again. It was a great wedding, a week of partying while hanging out with friends and family, and it was in tropical paradise. But, it would have been nicer without the strep throat... and the vomiting... and the bruised bum. But, whaddya gonna do? Oh right, that's what--the boy has promised me a redux! Woo hoo!!! This time with TB... I'm going all out!

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Happy as a Clam

Or at the least, as a beach bum. I'm leaving for a week in Mexico for a long-time friend's wedding, which means 1) I get to spend time reading and drinking 2) I get to do this with the boy 3) I get to do this with favorite friends and 4) I get to do this with my family... so Yay!!!

Have a great week everyone!

Oh, and watch this video. Be prepared for the biggest, warmest fuzzies you've ever had. I mean, more fuzzies than when Mr. Darcy finally wins over Lizzy... Props to Sara for sharing...

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Someone else who agrees with me...

here.

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In the Safety of Day

To start, I just want to say that I have lived in Columbia Heights for over two years, which I know isn't a super long time, but long enough to remember life before Rumbreros, Red Rock, or the Heights.  The boy and I moved to the area specifically because we both wanted a neighborhood with all types of diversity (economic, sexual, ethnic) and a sense of community.  Although I've had some qualms with the redevelopment that's taking place in the neighborhood, they are mostly minor because I think that many in my neighborhood have fought to keep existing flavor of the community intact.  I also think that the "gentrification" has brought jobs and money into the District and for District residents, which will help local schools, subsidize home ownership, provide the area with more cops, and, hopefully, help make the area as financially vibrant as it was before the '68 riots. 

But... I don't value the part of my community that leads to me witnessing a shooting at 6:10 pm last Friday night not a 1/4 block from the metro.  I was minding my own business when I noticed two groups of young men yelling at each other across Irving (just east of the CVS and the alley between that red, brick apartment building and where the rowhouses start).  Had I not had my iPod on, I might have run back the other way because I would have realized it wasn't just agitated, "Hey, loser, where you been, why are you so slow, cross the street dummy..." or whatever crap teenage boys yell at each other.  Instead, I would have realized that the kids weren't messing around and were about to pull a gun.  I was literally 10 feet away when the shots rang out.  Not cool. 

Now, what bothers me isn't that age-old prejudice that persons of color, especially poor ones, perpetrate violence.  I mean, if I bought into that crap, I wouldn't have moved to CH in the first place...  What bothers me is that there are poor people of any kind or type and that some of them have been taught that the way to solve their problems is with violence.  I mean, the youngest kid couldn't have been more than 14-years-old!  WTF?!  What bothers me isn't that the diversity I so craved in my neighborhood apparently means living with violence, but that some people are taught that they aren't equal, that some parents have to work multiple jobs to pay for basic essentials and their children are left to their own devices in a country that neither respects nor values them, that some people are forced to live without access to basic human rights like clean water and nutritious food, and that some of us just go about our business, buying our crap, not caring one way or the other... until something erupts near our newly renovated neighborhood.   Then we want everyone who is different from us, along with any stores that might appeal to them, pushed out instead of solving the problem of why everything happened in the first place.  It's just easier that way, isn't it?!  And with cuter clothes!! Or an organic grocer! Yum.

I want to be perfectly clear, I still want to live in Columbia Heights or any other neighborhood that reflects the multiplicity of America... I just don't want to live in a country and world of inequality, ignorance, greed, poverty, violence, and apathy.  There has to be a better way...for all of us.

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This will make everything okay...

Several of my friends are currently grieving two young men who recently passed away, one a former fellow Mizzou Tiger and one a fellow Rogers Mountie...

So, here's a little something to cheer everyone up. It may seem a bit inappropriate, as I can't imagine how much everyone misses these two exceptional people... But, I figured, what's the harm in a little laugh? Especially when it involves pandas.

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Why?

Why do I always go and open my big mouth and ruin things with people? I swear, I need to find me a little magic elf whose only job is to sit in my brain and screen all of my thoughts before they enter into the world. And make magical cookies.

Anyone interested?

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Thrice

It's been three years since my Grandma died suddenly in front of me. Since that time my Grandpa has passed, I've moved into DC, I've been married, my sister's decided to have a family, and I've gotten a great job doing what I love. What's so insane, though, is that I feel like a lot of that happened without me being "me." I was there, doing what I know I needed to do for the future, but I wasn't there... my "higher brain" decided all of that. My self and my soul was trapped within the horrible day that I experienced and the things that no grandchild or loved one should ever have to witness. The blessing is that that it hurts so much because I really loved my grandmother... she was my friend and confidant and eternal support system... She gave me "gas" money even when I had no car and bought me clothes even when I didn't need any and made me sandwiches with white bread even if it wasn't healthy and came to get me at college for Thanksgiving even though she was nervous about the drive and thought that my bright green hair was the prettiest color she'd ever seen even if it meant her grandbaby was weird and punk. She was my truest pal.

But the past three years haven't really even been about grieving for all of these things I no longer have--they've been about war and isolation and violence and loneliness. No one else in my family can ever understand what happened to us that day and how it feels to be the last hope of life for someone... and for it to not be good enough. No matter how much my family tells me it wasn't my fault, they honestly don't know if that's true because I was the only one that was there. I made the choices that either kept her alive a bit longer for my Grandpa to say goodbye or killed her sooner than the ambulance could get her. That responsibility is mine and it won't ever go away. Nothing anyone will ever say to me will stop it. I will spend the rest of my life questioning what happened that day...

Luckily, I am getting back to my old self--friends and my boy and family have helped so much, and I can't even begin to say "thank you"... But part of me feels that my life will forever be defined by the events of June 1st, 2005... It will always be the marker of another year of me, another chance to move on, another beginning of the right choices instead of the wrong ones... the "me" that's struggling to let go of the guilt I feel for not being able to save her life and that's living with the hopelessness of never being able to express what it felt like to be there and that's understanding the loneliness and sorrow that has intruded into my marriage and my friendships and my self...

But for once, in three long years, something has changed. I still miss my Grandma... but that grief is separate from the nightmares and flashbacks and fears that intrude upon my waking and dreaming person. The "Grandma" of that day is no longer the only Grandma that I can think of... and for me, that is the first sign that "me" is coming back to life...

I feel like I can finally lay my Grandma to rest... and maybe cut myself a little bit of a break.

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I am aghast....

Geraldine Ferraro has said she will not vote for Obama if he is the nominee... so who exactly will she vote for!!?? McCain!?!  Oh right, 'cause that's a great women's rights option.  She claims Obama is sexist, but voting for Hillary Rodham Clinton just because she's a woman is also sexist--Hillary's war votes and many of her policies aren't feminist or humanist... Vote on issues, people!  Not "experience" doing crappy things, but on perspectives.  I'm an ardent feminist and I have problems the sexist way the media has portrayed HRC, but that doesn't mean she represents my ideal of a diverse, open, multicultural third-wave feminist movement, especially with her lust for getting the "white working" vote.  I also don't like Obama's overuse of the word "sweetie"--come on, dude, you know that's paternalistic and you need to watch yourself.  But neither is as anti-woman as the Republican nominee and party.

So seriously, second-wavers, stop criticising the way some of us young woman choose to use the freedoms you helped fight for.  The point of feminism is choice, not voting with our vaginas.  Just because you did the "work" doesn't mean that you now get to decide how everything in the world should be.  Or did you just want freedom of choice for those people that got in line with you?  And I know it's not all of you--I mean, my mom was a second-wave feminist and she didn't vote for HRC  (Hi, Mom!!! You're my feminist hero! You too Dad!)

At least voting Nader in 2000  was about expanding democracy... this claims to be about elevating the status of second-class citizens in the US, but really seems like it's about "my way or the highway."  Four more years of the Republican party is not better for women (or men or children or anyone except the wealthy) than Obama would be.  So please, people, think about what you're saying. 

Oh yeah, and when responding to this kind of talk, don't respond with sexism.  One, it's disgusting and ignorant and two, it just fuels the flame.

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The man that taught me to write...

... has passed away. Dr. Timberlake gave me my first C (hell, D) on a paper, and by doing so, forced me to evaluate what I really wanted to say. I can guarantee exhibition writing would have taken me a lot longer to master if I hadn't already mastered the one-page Timberlake essay.

He will be missed.

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PS

I'm not saying that the Obama-heads haven't been really disrepectful either, I'm just saying the consequences are slightly different as it seems like a lot of those people NEVER liked Clinton... statistically it seems that more Obama voters would unite behind Clinton than vice versa... that's all I was saying.

Equal time, right?

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Can't We All Just Be Friends?

I've been spending a lot of time on CNN.com lately because I'm home sick with a horrible cold and unfortunately, it's not helping anything.  Instead, I'm reading comments on the political ticker and getting angrier and angrier at the Clinton supporters that leave their comments there.  They could be Operation Chaos infiltrators, that's for sure, but I am aghast that people are more concerned with Hillary getting the nomination than with a Democrat winning the next election!  Defecting to McCain out of ANGER, much less out of this completely hypocritical spin that Clinton has encouraged about Michigan and Florida being disenfranchised and it being Obama's fault?  That's just plain horseshit---she agreed to it when she thought she was going to win and now it's a human rights issue for her people?  This is turning into a vote based on person instead of on issues--if McCain is closer to your ideology (and skin color) than Obama is (which, one could certainly argue Clinton's acting a bit Republican these last four years) then just say it, don't make it about this other bullshit.  Half of the people I know who didn't vote for Hillary, didn't do so because of her voting record, and won't if she gets the nomination.  But the rest LOVE Hillary and will support her if she wins...Voting for McCain out of spite just proves how much we need a person like Obama that doesn't condone the race divide, but acknowledges it and its roots and attempts to build a bridge and bring all types of people to cross it.  And the fact that people saying that they will vote for McCain because he has more experience than Obama are totally missing the point--that might be true, but what is his experience in and what are the results, people?  War, tax breaks for the wealthy, and the removal of our civil liberties.  We don't WANT someone with experience like that--his experience is bad experience!!!

So, I'm begging everyone, if Obama is the nominee (which it's likely he will be), please remember that Hillary will support him---the Democratic party, in the end, is more important to her than McCain becoming President.  She didn't play this game like it was, but, please, for the love of our troops overseas, get out of the game and be at peace.  It's our only chance!

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This is disgusting...

Once again, she is making it harder and harder for me to support her if she somehow manages to get the nomination.  She will say and do anything, even if it means rewarding, accepting, or condoning the status quo of this country.  I am appalled that she calls herself a Democrat, much less a liberal.  Shame on her.

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Eye of the Hurricane

Wow... so, how goes it people? I haven't had time to sleep more than 6 hours a night, much less blog, and right now is just a little break in storm.

A recap, you say?

• Work finally opened the 4000 square foot exhibition that I've worked on for two years' straight and man did that feel good!
  
• I've written the first draft of my traveling exhibition, which means I spent the last two months learning everything about Renaissance science I could without learning Latin
• I've seen the first draft of designs for the show and man are they pretty--I can't wait for it to open in June
  
• I've successfully used acupuncture to treat my insomnia and my anxiety
• My old powerbook finally died and I had to get a new MacBook--I got the black one 'cause of my gross, stain-leaving hands
• I've lost 5 pounds and have started running again--plus, my new local gym (with pool) opens in a month!
  
• I went to Denver and got altitude sickness 'cause I'm a "delicate flower"
• Sara moved back!
  

So, the show's open and now things have to be closed out and sent back... my exhibition is still being worked on (dear lord, soooooo much writing to do in the next three days, I feel like crying... of course I realize how good I've got it so I try to keep it all in perspective) so, like I said, I'm not done yet and there's some hardcore writing to be done over the next two weeks before the exhibit opening June 2nd....

But really, so what if I have four more weeks of stress? 'cause in six weeks I will be lounging beside a beautiful Mexican beach, celebrating the marriage of two of my favorite people, and drowning all negative feelings about my wobbly bits in unlimited margaritas. Woo hoo!!

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