and Again and Again and Again...
For those of you who aren't blessed enough to know of the Duggars, they are a Northwest Arkansas family (where I grew up) who have 16 children. Yep, that's right. As of 6:30am this morning, the Duggar brood numbers 16. And what's most interesting/scary/mind-boggling/weird/pickwhateverwordyouwant is that every child's name begins with the letter J. I'm not kidding. There's Joshua, 17; John David, 15; Janna, 15; Jill, 14; Jessa, 12; Jinger, 11; Joseph, 10; Josiah, 9; Joy-Anna, 8; Jeremiah, 6; Jedidiah, 6; Jason, 5; James, 4; Justin, 2; Jackson Levi, 1; and now Johannah. And their dad's name? You guessed it, Jim Bob. Poor mom, her name is Michelle. She's so left out. Other than the fact that she's birthing a baby every 9 months. And according to Jim Bob, they are ready to start for another, if God blesses them again. I quote: "We both just love children. I have asked Michelle if she wants more, and she said yes, if the Lord wants to give us some she will accept them."
I first became aware of the Duggars when Jim Bob ran for US Senate in 2002. He had previously been elected as a state representative by the good people of NW Arkansas and dreamt of bigger and better things. So, he sent a card to EVERYONE in the mail, knowing in his heart that the people of Arkansas would embrace him. 
Now many of you are thinking, well of course Arkansas would LOVE this guy! I mean, look at his nice, Christian family... Look at how they are combating the falling white birth rate singlehandely! Look at their matching outfits--they must be a great jug band! Arkansans love jug bands like they love fried chicken, right? Sadly, too many of you have an incorrect idea of Arkansas and it's constintuents. Yes, the majority of Arkansans (I'm not speaking for myself, of course, being a socialist and all) love white, Christian men with strong values who tend toward the conservative side. Or are Bill Clinton. But there is such a thing as going too far for us and the Duggars do that... in more than one way. Wink wink, hint hint, say no more.
Don't believe me, the Arkansan expatriate living in D.C.? Well, here's the viewpoint from an Arkansas blog:
Oh lordy, I tried my best to pass up this blog....just let it go.....leave it be. But it's just simply too delicious. First all, my 2 kids just love the Duggar's, or at least the concept of a Duggar. They regularly scan the news, looking for something new, usually of the flesh variety, at the Duggar Barracks.
They use the name to describe many as in, the dog has fleas as thick as Duggar's. Or we have enough cookies to feed the Duggar's. The term Duggar used to mean 15, which came off as , how much money will it cost, hon? Duggar's daddy, so I'd know to spool out 15 bucks. Now I'll have to keep a bunch of 1's around in order to hand out 16 bucks.
Also if my wife and I disappear upstairs one of the kids will holler Duggar at us when we come back down. Man, I wish! And it made getting our oldest girl on birth control pills last month easier by reasoning that it would be best for our family if she didn't goof up and Duggar by accident. We tell her she'll have lots of time to Duggar in the future. Duggaring is natural, Duggaring is good, not everybody does it, but everybody should.
And we remind her that to be a good parent means at least 20 years of care and worry 24/7 for each Duggar. Let's see, 16 times 20 = 320 years. ...Hope Michelle takes her vitamins, she's got to live a long long time. And honestly, what's one more kid after you have 15? I say give the ole girl a few days to rest up and then let's get those legs back up in the air. My new motto is Make Duggar's, Not War!
So, what's the moral of this story? That Arkansans are just like the rest of the country thinks we are--dumb, ignorant, racist, Christian freaks with Pentecostal hair and matching doilie dresses? Yes, but at least we, including our most famous native son Bill Clinton, Duggar a lot!
For those of you who are interested in learning more about the Duggar way of life, here is a link to the family's website. They will even answer your yearning questions! Or you can just watch them on the Discovery Channel or the Learning Channel. Yes, they have shows about their life.
God, no wonder people make fun of Arkansas.
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10 comments:
They totally look like the von Trapp family only creepier. Who the heck takes care of all those kids? You know Daddy is off advancing his political agenda...
And, on the upside, I just learned that Rogers is becoming one of the lead school districts in regards to PE. I know your governor is a big backer of fitness (one of his good traits), and thankfully, it's spilling into quality PE programs that focus on lifestyle activities and not just dodgeball.
So, I give props to Arkansas, even if the Duggars call it home.
And I just discovered that the person who made the Duggar website is a Mac freak... well, that's one bonus point for them, at least! Macs rock, but babies don't.
Jinger stumbled through the darkened, empty streets, her swollen ankles crying out with every step.
I've been running for so long now... Surely it wouldn't hurt to rest a bit...
Jinger found a curb and seated herself heavily, then reached inside her jacket pocket. She brought out a crinkled, sopping paper bag that smelled strongly of brine.
Turning her head to the left, then the right, Jinger looked around... but no one was watching. In fact, the streets were dead. She shivered.
Well, here goes... If they catch me, so be it. God is with me.
She dumped the contents of her paper bag onto her sweaty palm: a single jumbo dill pickle. She stared at it for a moment, then delicately bit off a single piece of green flesh, sucking on the flavor. Her stomach stirred, and the baby awoke, kicking in protest.
Jinger savored the bite of pickle. It had been so long since she'd had a good one, and Lord knows she couldn't make it through another pregnancy without it.
Another pregnancy... Jinger supposed she'd learned it from her mother, but she just couldn't say no when a man told her he wanted her to have his baby.
Jinger made a conscious effort not to think about her pregnancy. Her parents had always taught her children were a gift from Christ, and she was determined to look upon this latest one as a blessing.
But the pickles were another story. They were like an addiction. She hadn't been able to help herself at the roller rink. She knew stealing was wrong, but she'd given the new evangelist on Baptist TV all of her last paycheck to help him spread God's word and improve the lives of heathens.
Suddenly an alarm sounded across the street, and Jinger was jolted out of her reverie. Had the roller rink security guards discovered her??
To be continued...
I heard this morning that they're getting a TV show. God, help us!
jim bob needs to plug it up. he just stands like a robot with a smile on his face number 17 yes.He needs to get a job that makes money not babies.
God bless them. At least they haven't been brainwashed into committing racial suicide. I can't say Jim Bob is the kind of guy I'd be good friends with, but they look pretty well adjusted to me. A nice change from the tattoo/piercing psychopaths.
Wow!! who give you guys permission to be so judgmental!! if they are pentecostal freaks what does that make you? an atheist freak? You don't hear us pentecostals going around making fun of all you people out there who criticize us!! You see us being kind, loving and trying to convert you! Yes I may be pretty much backslidden, I have a pair of pants and I wear them, I don't cut my hair because I think it is pretty and my husband likes it. The bible says to have children, no I would not have that many when there are so many homeless ones, But at least they are raising them right!!! and whoever wrote that little story about jinger..you are a really big jerk!!! The comment about which one will be gay is just plain rude, people are not born gay! they make that choice, why else do you think God would destroy Sodom and Gomorrah??? They were all GAY!! they wanted to f*** the angel's for pete's sake. Why would God create someone to be homosexual and then destroy them? That would be a horrible thing to do, yes he judges us and some of us will end up in hell because we deserve to be there. And for those of you who don't beleive in God, well what can I say when you die you will...you WILL find out there is a God, you will be judged for your actions. A wise lady once told me, wouldn't you rather do the extra things the church (or pastor) tells you to do, just in case it will get you to heaven? or would you rather miss out on one tiny ddetail and go to hell?
I can't remember her exact words, I'm sure they sound a little more intelligent than that but you get the gist of it....You all have a nice day!! Oh yeah To jenn: since when did children with clean, combed hair and clean faces and nicely dressed, with good manners become CREEPY, i think you think they are creepy because you don't know what the term "creepy" means
Flashback 6 years earlier: Jinger started out childless, gamine, as most women do. She defined herself as a “holy roller”—a member of God’s army with a penchant for the skates. She had a need for speed, but was no demon. Contrarily, she was heaven on wheels every weekend at the roller rink. She seemed to glide around the parquet oval with preternatural ease, unencumbered by the oversized jumpers her listless mother made her wear daily. What made her look like a hapless penguin gone too far south when stationary turned her into a soaring osprey once she pushed off with her back legs and became dynamic.
As she circled the track and increased focus and speed, like the raptor who’s spotted an unsuspecting fish just below the surface of the sea, she contemplated her life’s most burning questions, like “why is my name pronounced like the root, and not as a rhyme for ‘finger’?”and “why is mom always tired and walks with a limp, even though she’s never been in an accident?”. She thought up answers that always fell short. Although she couldn’t make sense of her world, she understood the track well and took comfort in her mastery of it, as well as her belief that all would be revealed according to God’s plan.
Manny worked over the insolent pinball machine with the same intensity Jinger employed to best the rink. He’d tried to coax the testy machine gently, but was compelled to physically deliver a dressing down once the noisy, active box proved obstinate. Every weekend, while fixing another machine on the brink, he’d take a break from the cranking, clinking, and heaving, and become transfixed by the bird of prey soaring by him every 15 seconds, then every 12 seconds, then every 10 seconds…. In his mind’s eye, he saw himself in her. He recognized the passion in her eyes in himself, and he wanted to consume her. And even though she was full of ardor, he knew that, just shy of her 18th birthday, she’d be fairly easy for the 35 year old to consume. And to have her would be the ultimate coup—Salvadoran handyman nearing middle age whisking the nubile, white, virginal daughter of a prominent family off into his world…
(Author’s note: her first 3 kids will be with Manny, the love of her life, while she's married to a young, boring foot doctor--the kids will all be brown AND gay. I don't know if you can handle that, Tonia.)
It just occurred to me that where I live, if those kids were cats they would be confiscated by the city. Thank goodness we care more about cats...
The Duggar family is not as innocent as they seem. My cousin said one of the girls is the "town slut", and "will be pregnant within the year". They waited until the day the oldest son was getting married to tell him about "the birds and the bees" by handing him a book. Do you really think the young man (who acts like he's 13) read that book in a day? I doubt it! And we wonder why that woman has so many kids?! With Jim Bob's sex education, I'm surprised they don't have 30 kids! What a F'd up family! I would be upset with my parents if I was one child out of 20! What kind of attention does a child get. Who wants to be raised by their brothers/sisters? I genuinely feel sorry for the Duggar kids.
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