New Kid on the Block

So the job stress? Still not alleviated. Still love what I do but beginning to feel crunch time. Especially because someone needed something today and I couldn't do it...sure there are reasons, including one admitted by said someone--I don't have FUCKING time to do all the stuff I need to do. I felt really disappointed that I couldn't help this person, even though I have so many piles on my desk I can barely find my post-its reminding me of what I have to do. Yesterday.

This exhibition has been reorganized with me being the only exhibition coordinator in charge of assets. There used to be two. Other employees have also had duties shifted around and everyone is learning a new place. I'm certainly not the only busy person. And I'm not crying out for sympathy... I certainly don't want a pity party. This exhibition is huge--cosmic size huge. So many assets, so many contacts, so many storylines... but it's also wonderful, amazing, exciting, and challenging job. It's high profile. It makes me feel proud of myself. I brag about my job. If this is work, then I'll take it and the piles any day. It ain't pluckin' chickens, that's for sure.

In all honesty, I don't think it's all the work I have that's bothering me...it's more the uneasiness I still have as a new employee...much less one following an excellent predecessor. I have replacement lover syndrome... Am I as good? As pretty? As smart? As lovable? Of course, with a job, you can't actually ask those questions and keep the power relationship. You become a needy little girl. A child instead of an equal...

When do you stop being the new kid?