Friday, June 27, 2008

I tried...

...to have a good time on my vacation, but my body just wouldn't agree!!!

So, despite amazing weather, great friends, family, and the boy, I was a bit of a cranky puss.

Here's my list of ailments:

1. I got food poisoning on the second night. Bleck. But it was a gorgeous sunset...



2. I got a sore tailbone and many, many bruises jumping 20 feet into this amazing Mayan sinkhole. I have to say, this ailment was totally worth it! So much so, this pic is of my jumping the second time, despite being in so much pain I could barely walk. Rock on!



3. I got a severe sunburn relaxing in the cabana, despite using 70 spf Aveeno spray. Caution to all at risk burners out there: when the spray bottle is nearly done, just throw it out. The bottom is more liquid than sunscreen as my mottled skin can attest to. Seriously, I'm all dark tan and pale splotchy. What's the point of pain if I don't at least end up with hot, evenly dark legs?



4. I caught strep throat and a sinus infection. Yeah, that's right. You heard me. So, basically, I spent the last three days in paradise in bed, while others went and played with dolphins... at least I had all-inclusive room service!!!!


But, since I'm not really a Debbie Downer, here's all the good stuff:

1. Amazing location! It was so beautiful and warm and amazing... good food, unlimited cocktails (though I went easy on them since I didn't feel so hot... so sad, I know)... It was really a relaxing place to be.



2. Exploring archaeological treasures was great, including Chichen-Itza and the aforementioned Mayan sinkhole.





3. I got to swim with dolphins!!!! Many of my closest friends and family know that my secret wish was to be a marine biologist when I grew up... sure, I have a great career now, but part of me is still totally fascinated by the sea and being near such amazing creatures was one of the highlights of my life. I got to rub her belly and she gave me a footpush!



So, I guess I have to say I'd do it all over again. It was a great wedding, a week of partying while hanging out with friends and family, and it was in tropical paradise. But, it would have been nicer without the strep throat... and the vomiting... and the bruised bum. But, whaddya gonna do? Oh right, that's what--the boy has promised me a redux! Woo hoo!!! This time with TB... I'm going all out!

Read More...

Friday, June 13, 2008

Happy as a Clam

Or at the least, as a beach bum. I'm leaving for a week in Mexico for a long-time friend's wedding, which means 1) I get to spend time reading and drinking 2) I get to do this with the boy 3) I get to do this with favorite friends and 4) I get to do this with my family... so Yay!!!

Have a great week everyone!

Oh, and watch this video. Be prepared for the biggest, warmest fuzzies you've ever had. I mean, more fuzzies than when Mr. Darcy finally wins over Lizzy... Props to Sara for sharing...

Read More...

Monday, June 09, 2008

Someone else who agrees with me...

here.

Read More...

In the Safety of Day

To start, I just want to say that I have lived in Columbia Heights for over two years, which I know isn't a super long time, but long enough to remember life before Rumbreros, Red Rock, or the Heights.  The boy and I moved to the area specifically because we both wanted a neighborhood with all types of diversity (economic, sexual, ethnic) and a sense of community.  Although I've had some qualms with the redevelopment that's taking place in the neighborhood, they are mostly minor because I think that many in my neighborhood have fought to keep existing flavor of the community intact.  I also think that the "gentrification" has brought jobs and money into the District and for District residents, which will help local schools, subsidize home ownership, provide the area with more cops, and, hopefully, help make the area as financially vibrant as it was before the '68 riots. 

But... I don't value the part of my community that leads to me witnessing a shooting at 6:10 pm last Friday night not a 1/4 block from the metro.  I was minding my own business when I noticed two groups of young men yelling at each other across Irving (just east of the CVS and the alley between that red, brick apartment building and where the rowhouses start).  Had I not had my iPod on, I might have run back the other way because I would have realized it wasn't just agitated, "Hey, loser, where you been, why are you so slow, cross the street dummy..." or whatever crap teenage boys yell at each other.  Instead, I would have realized that the kids weren't messing around and were about to pull a gun.  I was literally 10 feet away when the shots rang out.  Not cool. 

Now, what bothers me isn't that age-old prejudice that persons of color, especially poor ones, perpetrate violence.  I mean, if I bought into that crap, I wouldn't have moved to CH in the first place...  What bothers me is that there are poor people of any kind or type and that some of them have been taught that the way to solve their problems is with violence.  I mean, the youngest kid couldn't have been more than 14-years-old!  WTF?!  What bothers me isn't that the diversity I so craved in my neighborhood apparently means living with violence, but that some people are taught that they aren't equal, that some parents have to work multiple jobs to pay for basic essentials and their children are left to their own devices in a country that neither respects nor values them, that some people are forced to live without access to basic human rights like clean water and nutritious food, and that some of us just go about our business, buying our crap, not caring one way or the other... until something erupts near our newly renovated neighborhood.   Then we want everyone who is different from us, along with any stores that might appeal to them, pushed out instead of solving the problem of why everything happened in the first place.  It's just easier that way, isn't it?!  And with cuter clothes!! Or an organic grocer! Yum.

I want to be perfectly clear, I still want to live in Columbia Heights or any other neighborhood that reflects the multiplicity of America... I just don't want to live in a country and world of inequality, ignorance, greed, poverty, violence, and apathy.  There has to be a better way...for all of us.

Read More...

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

This will make everything okay...

Several of my friends are currently grieving two young men who recently passed away, one a former fellow Mizzou Tiger and one a fellow Rogers Mountie...

So, here's a little something to cheer everyone up. It may seem a bit inappropriate, as I can't imagine how much everyone misses these two exceptional people... But, I figured, what's the harm in a little laugh? Especially when it involves pandas.

Read More...

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Why?

Why do I always go and open my big mouth and ruin things with people? I swear, I need to find me a little magic elf whose only job is to sit in my brain and screen all of my thoughts before they enter into the world. And make magical cookies.

Anyone interested?

Read More...

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Thrice

It's been three years since my Grandma died suddenly in front of me. Since that time my Grandpa has passed, I've moved into DC, I've been married, my sister's decided to have a family, and I've gotten a great job doing what I love. What's so insane, though, is that I feel like a lot of that happened without me being "me." I was there, doing what I know I needed to do for the future, but I wasn't there... my "higher brain" decided all of that. My self and my soul was trapped within the horrible day that I experienced and the things that no grandchild or loved one should ever have to witness. The blessing is that that it hurts so much because I really loved my grandmother... she was my friend and confidant and eternal support system... She gave me "gas" money even when I had no car and bought me clothes even when I didn't need any and made me sandwiches with white bread even if it wasn't healthy and came to get me at college for Thanksgiving even though she was nervous about the drive and thought that my bright green hair was the prettiest color she'd ever seen even if it meant her grandbaby was weird and punk. She was my truest pal.

But the past three years haven't really even been about grieving for all of these things I no longer have--they've been about war and isolation and violence and loneliness. No one else in my family can ever understand what happened to us that day and how it feels to be the last hope of life for someone... and for it to not be good enough. No matter how much my family tells me it wasn't my fault, they honestly don't know if that's true because I was the only one that was there. I made the choices that either kept her alive a bit longer for my Grandpa to say goodbye or killed her sooner than the ambulance could get her. That responsibility is mine and it won't ever go away. Nothing anyone will ever say to me will stop it. I will spend the rest of my life questioning what happened that day...

Luckily, I am getting back to my old self--friends and my boy and family have helped so much, and I can't even begin to say "thank you"... But part of me feels that my life will forever be defined by the events of June 1st, 2005... It will always be the marker of another year of me, another chance to move on, another beginning of the right choices instead of the wrong ones... the "me" that's struggling to let go of the guilt I feel for not being able to save her life and that's living with the hopelessness of never being able to express what it felt like to be there and that's understanding the loneliness and sorrow that has intruded into my marriage and my friendships and my self...

But for once, in three long years, something has changed. I still miss my Grandma... but that grief is separate from the nightmares and flashbacks and fears that intrude upon my waking and dreaming person. The "Grandma" of that day is no longer the only Grandma that I can think of... and for me, that is the first sign that "me" is coming back to life...

I feel like I can finally lay my Grandma to rest... and maybe cut myself a little bit of a break.

Read More...