Holy Roller Coast, Batman!

GAH!!!!!!!!

Okay, I got that out.  Now I can move on to what happened this week.

I voted.  I decided.  At the voting booth, in fact, something I never use to understand.  And it kills me because the feminist in me is upset, but the idealist in me is hopeful if not a bit annoyed by the insanely overenthusiastic 'BamaHeads.  They remind me of the Nader supporters in 2000 and that's NOT a good thing. 

I don't usually like Maureen Dowd's "feminist" critiques, but this is sorta how I feel.  It's not that she's a woman, it's that she's her.  And it's so hard for me to say that because I've looked up to Hillary Clinton my ENTIRE life.  I'm an Arkansas girl, born and bred, and I grew up thinking that a governor's wife who actually had a job, who was smart, who had her own ideas, who was kinda like my own amazing mom, well, that's the sort of person I wanted as my President.  The boy remembers years ago when I said, "If Hillary Clinton ever runs for President, I'll vote for her. Hell, I'll quit my job and work on her campaign."  So what happened?  I honestly don't know... maybe I got more progressive and critical or the Democratic party or maybe it was Iraq and the scandals and the seemingly opportunistic choices she's made just to get here.  But I'll always wonder if I made a mistake.  If the process--the sexism completely entrenched in our society--made Hillary have to respond in a Machiavellian way.  I'll always wonder if the woman who championed health care for us in the early 1990s realized back then that she had to become President to make the change she wanted for our country and if that goal of becoming President has overtaken everything else... if her world has become so myopic she can't see past this goal.  If it made her vote for Iraq just to get here because that's what she decided she had to do back in 1994 to make a difference.  I don't know.  I just know that it didn't feel right to vote for her at that moment at that voting booth.  And that really sucked because I didn't necessarily want Obama either.  I'm not head over heels... I'm tentatively excited.  Like I said a couple of weeks ago, I really wish Edwards had stayed in the race so that a vote for another candidate was for someone and not against Hillary. 

Sigh.

Oh, and I've been working a lot.