I'm going to kick you in the face...

...if you don't keep moving into the middle of the Metro. Seriously. There are people trying to get into the doors before they lose an arm. I know you just LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE that pole right near the door, but you know what? You're blocking my way, you yuppie twat. I promise, if you move towards the middle at Chinatown, you WILL be able to get off at Metro Center. I promise! Why? Because I've been doing this for three years and every single day, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS! EVERYONE GETS OFF THE FUCKING TRAIN AT METRO CENTER!!! EVERYONE! When the train is empty, it's really easy to get off of it, Mr. Suit, promise. So don't give me a dirty look, asshole, when I tell you to keep moving... And seriously don't give me another dirty look one stop later as you (and everyone else) easily get off the train.

Jesus Christ.