Marty Moose: Sorry, folks! We're closed for two weeks to clean and repair America's favorite family fun park. Sorry, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!
Well, my summer vacation was nowhere as eventful as the Griswold Family's, but hell, I'm just happy I finally got to take some time off! Even if it was October before it happened...
Anyhow, that's why I haven't been posting; I was in a third world country otherwise known as "Arkansaw". Actually, I'm from the Land of Wal-Mart and Tyson's Chicken, so in fact, my "hometown" (actually 4 cities that run into each other) has become a small metropolitan area of around 500,000. Northwest Arkansas is pretty hoppin' these days. To give you some perspective, when I left for college 7 years ago, the population of my region was around 150,000. So yeah, there are Barnes and Noble Booksellers where there used to be old men driving tractors. In fact, the week that I went home the new, amazing, state-of-the suburban-art shopping center, the Pinnacle Promenade, opened. It's similar to the outdoor-shopping center the Plaza in Kansas City. And they're building ANOTHER similar style mall (Pleasant Crossing) just over the way. TWO MALLS!! In Rogers!!!! WTF?! Needless to say, I spent the whole weekend singing "Little Boxes" (the theme from Weeds and before that a famous folk anthem sung by the likes of Pete Seeger). I sang it so much I drove my entire family insane. "Little Boxes, on the hillside, little boxes made of ticky-tacky..." Well you get the idea. But in case you don't, here's a picture:
Other than coming home to an entirely new town than the one I last saw at XMAS, my trip to AR was great. My Grandpa's better than I expected him to be, although it's still hard to see a great American farmer weak and frail. He still has his temperament, though, and I ended up being kindly ordered to drive him around all weekend. For example, while we were the first quarter of the Arkansas/Auburn game (Go Hogs!), Grandpa sits up, starts taking off his permanent oxygen tank, switching tubes to his "travel" tank, moving his bed tray and asking me "You wanna drive around and listen to this on the radio?" As much as it sounded like it was a question, it was not. My grandfather expresses his opinion by saying something, anything, at all. A firm yes from his is "Well, that'd be alright..." I had a wonderful time and hope he feels well enough to take some more drives when I come home for the Holidays. It was really nice to scoot around town (get to the grocery store in about 10 minutes and home within the hour!) and get out of the city for a while. The kicker? They put me in first class on the way home! "Would you like some more wine?" "Yes, please!"
Since getting back from Arkansas, I have been working like a fiend to catch up. The curator and I are no longer dancing in circles and things are moving forward. Amazing. I was getting ready for a new song or I was going to shoot someone. Emily is still staying with us, so most of my friend energy is going to her...sorry for the lack of phone calls everyone... I'm having a great time with my alternative family, so y'all just have to wait until it breaks up.
But don't fret, I will leave you will a small update regarding the teaser from my last post--I wouldn't want to leave you hanging... I know how much all of you anticipate my posts. I know, I'm just that sexy. Anyhow, the teaser was about my end of season kickball events, so without further ado: we lost our first round in the tournament, but played really cohesively. Next season, we'll at least not be last... The best part was the party that night (open bar $5) at RNR in Chinatown. RNR was formerly a Coyote Ugly, and it must be said that it seems that the bar kept much of the same staff and clientele if you know what I'm saying...including the bizzaro Hill-types who were wearing SUITS! To a dance club! God I hate Hill-types... Anyhow, the mood was such that near the end of the night, even I was dancing on the bar! But it wasn't just random drunk slutty dancing. I swear it had a very important cultural point to make about the variety of women's body shapes. Really!!! During the beginning of my anthem "Baby Got Back" my teammates dragged me up to the bar to shake the junk in my trunk. All the other women up there were really skinny, assless, white women. I mean, I might be white, but I sure as hell ain't assless. Pear-shapes represent, what? what?! I have to admit that my favorite thing about dancing on the bar is that my teammates are almost all employees of the Feminist Majority. So, essentially, my lovely feminist friends were begging me to go dance and sexually objectify myself! All I gotta say is that there isn't much that vodka tonics, mixed with butt-pride songs, won't get me and my ample hips to do.
Well, folks. That's all I got for now. I've had lots of people annoying me on the subway and lots of new music/books/movie finds. But, as I said before, all my energies are going into actually hanging out with people in the real world. So, time for some dinner (Oop, there's the boy now), some TV, and maybe even some ice cream later tonight. This is all you're getting for a while, folks. Mmmmm, ice cream.
PS We got a steal on a 2002 Honda Accord EX! It even has leather seats. Eek. I feel very Bourgie now, as my flaming landlord would say. Oh well... Bourgie happens to the best of us.
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