Lucky Bastard

This last birthday I was once again reminded of what a lucky bastard I really am. In addition to receiving tons of birthday cards, phone calls, and awesome presents, my favorite friends here in the DC area took me to, da da da, MEDIEVAL TIMES DINNER AND TOURNAMENT!!!!!!



I got to eat chicken with my bare hands, watch a horse show, wear a friggin' crown, contemplate the bizarre cultural origins of a three time daily "medieval tournament" and, to Andrew's chagrin, win the group betting pool for the upteenth time. I always win and I never care about what I'm betting on. Usually it's the Superbowl, in the past it has been the quarter slots, this time it was the Yellow Knight. Perhaps I should consider a new career? Or at least Andrew should start betting with me instead of against me. What a great birthday!

I honestly don't know how I got so lucky with all the people in my life. Well, actually, I sorta do. Long ago, in a state far far away... I went to college and decided to become the Elizabeth I thought I should be and instead learned how lucky I already was. See, in high school, my core group of friends were the OrchDorks, a diverse little group of string players who weren't nerds (like the band geeks) or socially inept, but weren't popular in the traditional sense. People generally left us alone. There were 8 of us, including me and my twin. Invariably we were together on weekends scripting Britcom style interludes, planning complicated spying maneuvers, cooking, or just talking. Partying wasn't the core of our social interactions because some of the members of this group were more conservative and in fact still are. We had personalities that ranged from quiet, to wacky, to intellectual, to sweet, to weird, and everything in between. We even have a devout Libertarian thrown in the mix. Some of these friends didn't have an interest in the sort of music I liked and weren't liberal by any means... Some of them did, but would never shave their head. One of them wanted to be doctor, one a nurse, one a pirate, one a teacher, one an auditor, one a violist, and one a writer. All but the pirate have succeeded. Piracy is having a bit of a down-time right now. Anyhow, at the time I went to college, I thought that the fact that some of my friends would never drink a drop of alcohol (a fact proven wrong with time) or listen to Wilco was a personal liability. I thought that I wasn't living up to my full potential unless I was with people who had the same values, ideas, clothes, music as me. I didn't understand at the time that all each of these women wanted was a place to be who they are, whatever that meant to them.

So? So I went to college and made friends who acted, looked, listened, believed, and thought liked I did. I found other liberal, music-loving drunks. And you know what? They turned out to be the biggest bunch of insecure, annoying, close-minded, catty, and backstabbing bitches I've ever met. As a note, I'm using the past tense as I haven't spoken to any of them in years, so perhaps they've changed...well, one of them contacted me recently via Friendster and her message oozed of the same self-aggrandizing pomposity born of unrealized insecurity. But, like I said, benefit of the doubt... Anyhow, what I ultimately discovered is that I wouldn't trade my OrchDorks in a million years. I would rather have friends that had different beliefs than me, but listened to my point of view and perhaps even changed their opinion because of it. I would rather have friends who treated people in a respectful manner, than people who feel the need to put others down for their own low self-esteem. I would rather be with people who value more than what clothes you wear, what drugs you've done, and what hipper-than-hippest band you listen to as criteria for friendship. Liberal does not mean open-minded and the coolest people are the people who don't care what cool is. It's not even on their radar. I'll take my dorky, funny, caring, open-minded friends any day. And you know what, some of them might even listen to Wilco or Black Box Recorder or shave their heads. But that shouldn't be the requirement. I'll be the first to admit that the whole situation was because of my bad judgment. These girls couldn't help what catty little people they were. They had their own issues. And I got caught up in them.

Luckily I didn't burn too many bridges with my experiment gone wrong. And in the time since my hard-earned lesson I have met some of the best friends I've ever had. Some of them are little weird people like me, with lesbian-chic hair and a love of the booze and piercings. Some are as American as white bread, but secretly whole grain inside. Perhaps some are even Sourdough? Oh, or marble rye... Regardless, my criteria for friendship has completely reverted to what it was when I was in elementary school, before all the social pressures kicked in. Does this person make me laugh so hard I pee my pants? Do they listen to me, even when I'm being so irrational and neurotic I sound like a crazy-person? Will they build hamster duplexes with me in their free time? Do they love me for me, differences and all?

At this point in my life, I have to say that I am lucky enough to have more than a handful of friends like this, including 7 of the 8 original OrchDorks and some other unexpected long-term friends from high school, Mizzou and GWU... Friends, in fact, who even remember my birthday amidst their own busy lives far away.

Thank you to all for being exactly who you are and for loving me all the same.