My Husband Hates My Clothes... And I Like It.

The other day, I left the house wearing a bright pink blouse that had ruffles all up the button line, on up to the ruffle collar. Over it I had on a white cardigan with pink, green, and purple dogwoods printed on it. In short, I was a mish mash of collar, color, and bad taste and I loved it. I felt pretty. I felt cute. I felt like Elizabeth.

And you know what? My husband just laughed at me. Giggled and pointed, in fact. Then gave me a kiss on the head and we headed out the door. And you know what? I like it. I like that he thinks I dress funny. I like that he hates that I wear make-up and tells me. I adore that he rolls his eyes at most of the things I bring home from the thrift shop and that he's aghast that anyone would shop at H&M. While smiling at me, of course.

Some of you out there with romantic partners may think my husband sounds mean. That he's rude and insensitive. That he's belittling me or at the very best patronizing me. Well, you can go ahead and think that, because I think it's hilarious if you do. Obviously you don't know him or me very well. If statements like that hurt your feelings, I'm sorry. They sure as hell don't hurt mine. I didn't marry my husband so that he would validate my closet or me, to get right to point. I fell in love with him BECAUSE he hates my clothes and thinks I'm weird. I wanted somebody who was different than me, who had different ideas, different opinions, different styles and could appreciate mine. There are a bazillion hipster clones out there in this world and more power to you if you want to date someone who looks just like you, who likes the same music, who repeats the same ideological crap that you do. Me? I'd rather have someone who challenges me, who is independent thinking, who thinks I'm wacko and I wear funny clothes and that I'm the damned cutest thing ever seen. I want to go to an art museum with my husband and us like some of the same pieces, of course. But if we hated and liked all of the same objects, that would make for a pretty boring life of constant self-validation, don't you think? I want to have things in common with my partner, but I don't want a cookie-cutter of me.

So, here's the thing... My husband can giggle and point all he wants, but I'm still wearing my damned pink shirt with the ruffle collar. As long as at the end of the day he still treats me with respect, still considers me his equal, still values my opinion above all others, still wants me to be the person that I want to be not that he wants me to be, still thinks I'm pretty, still thinks I'm the funniest person he's ever met, I could care less if he likes my shirt.

PS I know that there are men and women that do criticize their romantic partners as a way to belittle, abuse and control them. I am not in any way saying that this does not happen. Just not to me.

PSS Also, I promise I'm not heterosexist. My partner just happens to be a male. I can't help that. Blame it on his parents.