Beam Me Up

Though I'm not sure how it's possible, I actually have friends who have NEVER seen a Star Trek movie! So, for others like them out there, I've written a quick primer before this weekend's big release.

To enjoy ANY "the original series" Star Trek movie, here is all you need to know:

* In the 23rd century, there is a spaceship called the Enterprise whose crew spends their time exploring and discovering new worlds and alien life while generally getting into shenanigans that test our humanist ethical values.
* The Enterprise is part of Starfleet, the military organization of the Federation, which is basically an intergalactic UN. Earth seems to be a melting-pot of English speakers and dominates the political landscape kinda like the US does now. Also, apparently the gays and liberal commies win in our future as Starfleet is based in San Francisco.
* Its captain, James T. Kirk, is a kick-ass, witty, sexy beast of a man who always gets his guy or gal or blue-skinned dancer, whatever the case might be. He'll either get you with his phaser set to stun or with a crooked smile and a one-liner.
* Kirk's second in command, Spock, is part-Vulcan, which means he has pointy ears, weird hair, and an Enlightenment-sized obsession with "reason" and "logic." He's also very good at arching his eyebrow.
* There are other main crew members that, when the show originally aired in the 60s, were insanely progressive and controversial, including a black female, a Russian, and a generalized Asian. Basically the lady wears a short skirt, the Russian speaks with a silly accent, and the Asian is a good fencer.
* Klingons are BAD. Don't trust them. They want to rip your head off and put in on a necklace for their mum.