Reading Harry Potter Means I'm Smart?

An interesting find on the interwebs--a statistical analysis of SAT scores and books.  Of course it was using Facebook, which tends to already have well-educated users by default.  You know, 'cause you used to have to have been in college to join?  A bit self-selecting, but whatev.

Anyhow, University of Missouri-Columbia is school #235 in average SAT score and we like to read Cat's Cradle, Life of Pi, and Pride and Prejudice (woo!).

GWU, my graduate school, is #86 in average SAT score (and notice that's it's private, not public...bleck) and we apparently like to read a bit higher level books than good ole' Mizzou.  You know, like Ayn Rand and Freakanomics. 

What I find most interesting is that books strong in the African-American tradition (Color Purple and Their Eyes Were Watching God) are popular at schools with lower average SAT scores.  I wonder what's behind this? Racism in admissions at "prestigious" schools, problems with standardized tests, socioeconomic pressures with affording college in certain ethnic groups in the US, or lack of inclusion of African-American lit in certain colleges...Who knows?   Could mean nothing, but it's interesting.  Also, why two entries for the Bible (The Bible and The Holy Bible)...  wonder what the inclusion of the "holy" has to do with the populations at those schools?

Not the most scientific data, but kinda cool to look at.  Oh, but it is soooooo cliche the top books for top schools-- Lolita, Atlas Shrugged, One Hundred Years of Solitude.  Totally reads like a list of books you put down so people on the internets will think you're smart.  Admit you like Harry Potter!  Admit it!

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NO FAIR!

My in-laws always go on and on about how I live "up north" now and how cold it must be... but you know what?!  I had way more snow in Arkansas than I have here... seriously, it's snowing again in the Ozark Mountains.  WTF?!  I want a snow day!

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Wow, maybe this isn't so lame...

Like I said, I just signed up for Facebook.  Haven't even put a picture up or put any work details in there... but I've already gotten messages from old Mizzou professors and my friends that are seriously into Facebook are super excited.  So weird.  Maybe I'll update it and all that.  I'm also thinking about deleting my MySpace account just because I never get on there except to read a friend's blog and I can do that without logging in... Of course I don't have all dupe friends yet.  I'll have to double-check that so if I ever want to get in touch with people I haven't talked to in person in over 12 years I can... oh and the spying thing :)

I can't believe I'm using cyberspace journal to talk about my cyberspace social life.  Shoot me.

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Social Experiment

I finally set up a Facebook account.  So far I like MySpace better because with Facebook you can't spy on people that you aren't friends with.  And really, what's the point of these things except making yourself look as good as possible to people you can't stand or who made fun of you in junior high?

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Ouchy!!

Well friends, I finally got my second tattoo!  It's based off of a sketch by Jim Henson and it makes me giggle, which is exactly the point. 





I also got my stars touched up and they are chunkier than they were before... not sure how I feel about that, but they are also pretty damn cute.  Though I do have to admit that perhaps getting a wrist tattoo with lots of points and angles and all that was not the best idea for someone with OCD.  Just picture me with my wrist right up at my eyes and you'll get an idea of some mild obsessive moments.... or not so mild, considering I got the original outlines filled in and just got some points fixed. 




Third times a charm right.  A really fucking painful one.  Sigh. 

Enjoy!

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Can Someone Tell Her She Is Not The Center of the Universe, People?!

So, I have mixed feelings on Oprah.  Sometimes I like her show because she has interesting topics.  And she's pretty self-aware, which is nice to see in people.  Most of the time, though, that self-awareness rears it's ugly head as "I'm Oprah.  I've found a good way to live.  You should do it how I do it too."  The first time it really got my goat was when she acted as if James Frey had personally offended her and how wrong that was.  Please!!!  As if she is the only person in the world.  But whatever, if I'm home, I'll watch her and probably buy some skin cream she's suggested.  I'm fairly easy to please.

But this, this is going too far and clearly displays her lack of respect for other people, her self-aggrandizing, and her obliviousness.



Do you see how she forces herself on these objects?  The rules are actually for the American people--these shoes are not props and they are invaluable and they belong to us all with the Smithsonian acting as their steward.  Her actions show a serious lack of respect towards 1) The Smithsonian Institution (or any museum) as a repository of sacred American cultural artifacts and 2) the professionals whose job is to protect them ( this includes a minimum of a hand-courier, a conservator, armed transport personnel, and the friggin' director of the museum!  Museum professionals are just that (well most of the time), professionals.  It's our job to keep these treasures for future generations, to house them, to interpret them, to display them... not to let Oprah do whatever she wants with them.  Sure, he could have walked off or done a smack-down, but he's trying to raise awareness for the Smithsonian.  Believe it or not, it's not some sort of awesomely funded and well-kept place.  Like other cultural institutions, its budget is shrinking and its collections need money to keep them preserved and housed properly.  Plus, they don't charge admission, a huge source of income for other institutions.  So, giving in a little to Oprah is a bit understandable, though clearly dumb.  But the way that she responded to his kindness and handled those objects like she would her own friggin' shoes is so disrespectful...  It's like it was all a big joke to her. I am seriously aghast. 

Luckily, so are many of her viewers, who realize just how wrong it was for Oprah to act as if she is above the rules set in place for everyone else.  Oprah needs to realize that just because she's famous, successful, and millions of people look up to her gives her no more right to touch the ruby slippers than anyone else.  This is symptomatic of a major attitude problem she has and I hope the public outcry will wake her up.  There's nothing that says being a powerful woman means losing the ability to be humble.

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Failure #5, #6... Oh Christ, I give up...

So once again socially imbibing was my downfall to healthy eating this weekend.  But, I have to say I feel pretty good about the whole thing because I've cut way back and am not drinking at all during the week.  Also, I've been working out nearly every single day and have lost a couple of pounds.  Not all is lost and every day is a new chance to make better choices. 

Now I just have to find the time to go the eye and lady doctors.  Maybe if going to the doctor were more fun I'd be more inclined to do it? 

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Exactly

So, 23/6 has drawn a flow chart speculating an answer to what the fuck was going through Mary-Kate Olsen's head when she advised Heath's masseuse to call private security people instead of 911.

It was only 9 minutes, you say.   He was probably dead anyhow... Well, I've watched someone die and nine minutes is an eternity when someone's heart is stopping and they can't breath.  Always always always always call 911.  Just do it, don't wait, don't think twice, for any reason, call 911. 

Because really, do you really want to spend your life assuming that those nine minutes wouldn't have mattered anyway or would you rather know that you did everything that you could as quickly as you could?

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Gah...

...another reason to be wary of her.  Hawks playing with other hawks bodes more war people.  Tread lightly.

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TMI!

Okay, so there's this beta website where you can leave comments about your neighbors... DC doesn't have a lot of posts yet, but there is apparently an adulterer near me.  'Cause I care?  'Though the former cokehead at 16th and Penn does kinda bug me....

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I don't talk about my career that much...

...but this is a really upsetting story about LA museums collecting illegally smuggled cultural artifacts.  I almost considered (and might still) going into cultural property law because of the far-reaching (and often ignored) effects of museums choosing the "curatorial" and "authoritative" value of an object over the human rights violations of this sort of "ownership."  When US museums professionals, who KNOW better, continue to accept objects with clearly fuzzy provenance, raiders will continue to loot and destroy important sites in developing countries for the much-needed money.  This cycle will forever destroy that culture's chance to restore, preserve, and collect their own history.  Now, this isn't saying that Western museums can't appreciate, display, or educate with the artifacts of other peoples---of course that's important to better understanding not only our own cultures, but also the thousands of others throughout time.  It's just that this way is not the way to do it.  We need to not only respect the integrity of other peoples, but also that of our own profession.

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At least...

...no one listens to the crazy Wichita Phelps.  This guy is paid by Murdoch to say shit like this.

Completely inappropriate and blatantly homophobic.  I guarantee you if Ledger had starred in "family friendly" (aka crazy Christian appropriate) fare, his death would not have been treated so callously by this fucktard.


UPDATE:  Oooo, he apparently feels bad that Ledger died, but not about taking this great chance to make a "Brokeback" joke.  Asshat.

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I remember...

...when I was 13 and wrote a really nasty letter to those God Hates Fags people.  I can't remember what their response was, but basically it just confirmed that throughout my life they would continue to commit acts of hatred towards, well, anyone who isn't tithing their 15%.  See above.

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Tee hee hee heee

So I just got news that Ms. Rowling herself knows about my exhibition and wants to swing by D.C. to come say "thanks" for us doing it! 

Seriously, I just peed my pants a little bit.

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Failure #3 and #4, otherwise known as "Oi, I should know better..."

Well, this is posted a little later than planned because 1) I was in such shock over Heath Ledger-- I saw Knight's Tale and the Patriot on opening nights 'cause I was totally in love with him.  Also, he was perfect as Enis even though I was really nervous as I love that short story... and 2) work.  Surprise! 

But on to my confession with three hail mary's for my two tequila shots--alright alright, it was more like 10 beers over the weekend :)  Saturday I bought some beer to have with pizza the boy and I had and you know, it wasn't that much fun.  Think I'm kinda over just sitting around after work or whatever and having a beer.  What's the point?  Monday, though, I was with the Jackster and Samwise again and we had way too much fun saying goodbye to Dr. Dremo's.  So sad, especially considering another condo building is taking it's place in the middle of a real estate glut.  Last I heard there wasn't a beer-drinking glut, so I'm not sure on the logic.  Anywhooo, then we watched the Dem Debate and I'm still a total blob of indecision, though I was screaming at Hillary the whole time.  And then at myself the next morning as I got ready for work. 

I failed my resolution again, but at least it was fun... and civically minded!

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so sad...

Heath Ledger is dead.  Wow. 

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What Not to Wear...

... or how I was shamed into dressing in a way that makes other people less embaressed and me less happy.

I'm currently watching What Not To Wear on TLC and I've decided that it is an evil evil show. Family and "friends" who are embaressed by someone they love (but clearly only conditionally) film a plea for TV fashion experts to come and change their friend's form of self-expression. The thing that gets me the most is that so many of these people LIKE what they wear... it isn't until they are shamed on national television and being told "you do realize that people are laughing at you" that they begin to go, oh well, maybe everyone else is right. Then they buy new clothes and feel all better about themselves because now everyone feels better about them.

Maybe we could have a culture where our friends and family learn to love us for who we are and how we chose to express ourselves and complete strangers from television stay the hell out of it.

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Sciento-waaa?

I'm pretty sure I'm an SP, so why not just seal the deal?  Go ahead, watch this funny mash-up of Crazy Tom's sciento-bullshit video with homoerotic stares from Top Gun, be an SP with me!

I honestly don't think my husband has ever been more right than when he said this to me yesterday:

"Scientologists seem like the sort of people that are all going to one day drink some Kool-Aid."

Pause.

"No, I take that back.  They seem like they are going to make the rest of us drink Kool-Aid."

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Glad I'm Fat...

... and don't use my exercise ball anymore!  I could have been killed.  Of course, I'm not using 150lb weights with it either...

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How Did I Not...

... see any of these when in Arkansas over XMAS?  Seriously, these scream country to me like a gun rack and a 'federate flag. 

Apparently VA is trying to ban them...


Oh, and pic snagged from linked DCist article.  Props.

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Yippee!

More crazy Tom Cruise! This time he saved all of the firefighters after 911 with his new-fangled LHR technology...

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Diary of a Mad Juror Woman

I spent all of today surviving the jury selection for a two week trail. Here's the sporadic log I kept since I couldn't live blog--I know, so antiquated.

7:50am
Wandering around to find entrance to large gov't building that has diferent names of different "important" people I don't know on each side. How the hell do you find it?

7:58am
Courthouse bathroom has no vending machines for "feminine hygience products"--can I claim "lady trouble" to get out of this or does that go against my anti-sexism rules?

8:05am
Waited in line to fill out my phone #--some people only asked to put SS# on a diff't form--what's the deal? Which form decides what? Gas chamber versus work crew?

8:18am
Room beginning to fill up--sitting in uncomfortable chair and doing Harry Potter exhiit research since I haven't had time in weeks and well, I'm not doing much else here. Some people have computers, some have Soduku... CNN is on telly. I have to report there are no pineapples... seriously, that's the ONLY joke people have when I mention I have Jury Duty--even the boy! Either jury duty is way less important a storytelling device or there's seriously nothing better on anymore than that damn show... maybe it's just cause I hate those episodes with Berger... whatever.

8:20am
Everyone looks so bored and we have until 4:30pm. Hmmm, CNN says a plane missed the runway in Heathrow, that rents are down in DC (yay!) and that Obama and Hillary are bickering... surprise.

8:22am
Someone sneezed.

8:40am
Have text conversation with Sara about how ATL is so silly about snow.

8:46am
Sanjay Gupta mentiones Medline Plus--there was once I had no idea what that was. Sigh.

8:54am
CNN just called boy who attacked buglar w/ bat as "smart" and praised him for taking matters into his own hand--fucktard could have gotten shot--jesus, always praising that singular American individualism, no matter how dumb, especially with boys. Ick.

9:00am
My knees already hurt and as these entries show, I'm bored.

9:05am
Something's happening, finally! Ooo, orientation, with a random video, "Called to Serve". This thing is for all US courts, so no specific informatino and it's totally trying to convince us this is worth it, blah blah blah, went to bathroom, blah blah blah...

9:30ish am
Had to turn off cell phone so no clock... called for Jury selection. Sitting. Sitting. Sitting. Answering lots of questions and getting requistite, American duty speech, which I totally agree with, though two weeks is a long time... Answer yes on some question. Oh and a bit miffed about the "solemnly swear under God" crap but decide not worth complaining...

10:45am
Released from above...call and complaing to boy and mom. Worried about one of my answers, because I really don't want to talk about how I have "medical or psychological condition"...

11:30am
Scarfed down sandwhich and fretted some more...

12:00-12:15pm
Sit. Then dismissed again...

12:30-1:30pm
Sit. Read. Peed. Sit.

1:30pm
Go back to courtroom. Sit some more.

1:35pm
SERIOUSLY, dismissed AGAIN!!!

1:35-2:30pm
Stayed in courtroom, sat, read, napped, had weird dreams... fretted.

2:30-3:45pm
Sat in back jury room, waiting to go before judge and court for jury interview...

Some lady had number called and was so moronic and didn't know what her number was...

3:45pm-3:55pm
Ooop, my turn. Sat on stand, so weird. Did fine 'till asked about my medical condition. I felt totally lame saying it would affect me, having OCD. I fixate and can't concentration. And sure, I'm functioning, but I've never had someone's fate in my hands. I feel responsible for other people when their fate isn't in my hands... I feel like a coward... like I should be stronger and try and do it, but I don't know how my anxiety or my obessing will affect me. I cried a little--you know, Hillary style, though I meant it. Well, that is, I know I meant it, not sure if she did...only she knows that.

Seriously, the fretting I'm doing is totally indicitive of how I'd be, but it still makes me feel lame. I've never used my OCD as an excuse for trying or not trying or doing or not doing something... but I just don't know what would happen and I don't want to burdern the justice system with something that is so unpredictable... sigh...

4:00pm
Walk in gross winter sludge... no civic duty for me.

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Suck it up, Lizzy...

... at least your day wasn't like this.

So sad... first Jonathan Brandis and now Brad Renfro. All my tween crushes are dying...if only Tom Cruise had driven by, he would have saved him. Because Tom Cruise knows he's the only one who can help.

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That'll Be The Day...

... that you make me cry, work! Today was insanity, just like yesterday. It wasn't bad, per se--not like I got chastised or messed up or anything, just thing after thing after thing after thing thrown at me without being able to take a breath. Everyone kept asking if I was okay because even though I don't complain, I have no poker face.

I spent most of the day dealing with money and government contracts and math... ick. The other half of the day was meetings and getting new task after new task put on my plate. Oh yeah, and being asked to drive to Philly to pick up the former Surgeon General of the US tomorrow and then finding a way around that... though that would have been a pretty cool interruption to my work week, I admit.

To add insult to injury, I'm on call for jury duty for two weeks. So everyday I have to scramble to finish all of my work in case I get called in the next day. Not that I'm against civic duty, I love civic duty, it's just I'm already behind for Wednesday and it's only Tuesday night.

Oh well, it's just work. It's just one day. It's just one bad week out of lots of good ones... So, tomorrow, when it happens again, I'll go to another bad movie or take another run or call another friend and start all over, hoping for the best. I love my career, but for those people who work in exhibitions, we all know that days like this, well, are part of the job...

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Space Time Continuum

If last week was the week of many lifetimes, this one seems to be the one of speedy gonazales.   I felt like I lived three lifetimes (though I got a lot done) last week... but today the day's nearly over and I seriously feel like I just got here. I mean, I actually got here at 9, but I feel like the middle of my day when "zoom" through a wormhole or something. 

Let's hope things slow down a bit tomorrow...

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Roll Bouncin' Baby

We finally celebrated the boy's bday with a belated roller skating party this Saturday. I hadn't skated in about 15 years and I had forgotten how much fun it is. My feet are super blistered and my pudgy butt is sore, but man was it gleeful. And I remastered the leg-over-leg turn! Woo hoo!

Here's a video of us embarrassing the boy as we skate around him and sing "happy birthday." Oh yeah, the other birthday party kids were about 8.

Enjoy!

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In the Name of Two Used-to-Be Famous Actors...

... whose faces don't move anymore, seven almost famous actors who will never be, a slew of never-was secondary characters, and the entire First Nations tribe.

If you want a good laugh or, in my case, a diversion from a really long week, go see this awfully bad movie. You'll get to enjoy two hours of Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta, the Transporter, Hellboy, The Terminator 3 aka Blond Tits, Matthew Lilliard, LeLe whateverhernameis, Jonathan Rys-Davies (Sala), Claire "Horseface" Forlani, some really bad (and LOTR derivative) special effects, and an insanely magical German Metal Rock entry for this year's Ren Faire.


I seriously laughed so hard I had asthma.

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I Hate Chris Matthews...

First of all, I'm an undecided voter right now.  I am not a Hillary supporter, even though I'm a feminist and I tend to support women in fields where men dominate, especially if they are clearly capable of the job.  My physician, dentist, and tattoo artist are all female.  So, my tepidness towards Hillary is completely based on policy and not gender issues. 

That is, until everyone else clearly made it known their feelings about her gender.  How quickly the TV pundits turned on her display of emotion not hours after still denouncing her lack of femininity.  I mean, I'm not an idiot--I get how sexist people still are.  I get how hard it is for a woman to run for president and how close one finally is... but seriously, it's like Christ Matthews is a junior high boy or something.

Check out this great Salon article about the anti-Hillary male TV pundit brigade. 

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I Like My Eggs with a Side of Easy Voting, Please

I really hope that the Supreme Court surprises me again, like with their recent ruling acknowledging the socio-economic prejudices in crack cocaine versus cocaine penalties, because these new voter ID laws are blatantly anti-Democratic.*  Mother Jones has a pretty good summary of the whole deal, but basically a slew of states have new legislation requiring voters to have a government  issued ID (like a driver's license).  This essentially affects the elderly, the poor, and many city-goers.  It also essentially amounts to a voting rights violation akin to poll taxes and literacy tests.  The movement's impetus are Oh-Ye-Most-Reliable-Of-Truthiness Karl Rove and fellow Republicans' claims that there is rampant voter fraud that benefits Democrats.  Pot calling Kettle, are you there?

Anyhow, check out the Mother Jones article and let's all hope that judicial integrity once again beats out partisan politics in our highest court.


*yes, both meanings

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This is why...

...I'm not on Facebook.  I joined Friendster just 'cause I like talking about myself and MySpace 'cause I like spying on frenemies and judging how cliche and fat they are.  Oh and keeping in touch with friends, blah blah blah.  But Friendster with it's "groups" and "joining" just seems so... well, participatory.  I just can't bring myself to do it. I might give in one day since it's becoming the only way to get people to respond to you or make plans, but since I can't obsessively check and update my profile at work (gov't employ and all...) what's really the point?  Once I'm home I'd rather doing stuff in the real world instead of the cyber one.*


*Watch me join tomorrow... Ha!

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Squeak Squeak Squeak

Well, I gotta hand it to the National Zoo.  They may have some very sad displays and more rats than any other species, but this is a damn cute idea!  Animal ringtones that not only let you revel in the cuteness that is Butterstick the baby panda, but also support conservation efforts the Zoo badly needs.  Check it out-- I am personally contemplating the anteater. 

Uggggggwwaaaaa, Uggggwaaaaaaa

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Oh good...

... now I can continue to pretend I don't like them because of my street cred when I really do.  Yippie!

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GAH!!

So you know how I posted about my craptastically annoying day yesterday? Well, when I got home I realized I had left my keys inside the house.

Of course I had...

Sigh.  At least it was unseasonably warm outside and I could read on my stoop without getting hypothermia....

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Dizzy Izze ≠ Thin Lizzy

Ever have one of those mornings you just want to go home, go back to bed, and start all over?  Today was one of them for me... After a nice night of exercise, news watching, balancing my checkbook and making a fresh mozzarella, basil, and tomato sandwich, I had an awful night's sleep.  Part of it was the boy is super busy and didn't get in until way late.  Part of it was the weirdo dreams I had about the boy's upcoming belated bday roller skating party-- people from high school were there with people from college and everyone was pissed. Also, the skating rink looked just like Razorback Roller Rink but everyone was old.  Anyhow, I woke up late this morning and proceeded to rip the tights I was planning on wearing.  I also was grumpy at the boy for getting in so late and was all itchy 'cause I was late for work.  Once I finally got to the Metro I proceeded to lose my wallet and when putting my lunch bag down in order to dig in my bag, I cracked the bottle of the Izze I had brought with me as I wean off soda.  So yeah, my lunch was covered in raspberry juice and fizzy water.  I had to throw it all away, putting me in a grump and making me want to eat out for lunch. So I did.  And broke my diet.  Boo!!!!  I've also lost edits to documents, forgotten things that were due, and had the crotch on my tights slowly riding down to my knees.  I want to go home. 

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Failure #1... and #2

Well, I already failed my 2008 January Resolution...

#1
Went to dinner with a girlfriend and shared a pitcher of white sangria at Jaleo.  Also had an orange liqueur for dessert.  Seriously, though, if you'd been in on the conversation, you'd be drinking too.  Girl needs some cuddle muffin time 'cause she be down right now... :( 

#2
Had Manic Panic and dysfunctional family movie marathon extravaganza with the Jackster and Samwise.  Helped finish off their store of booze as both of them are trying to quite drinking at home too.  So kinda counterproductive (since we bought more to get through the 10 hour marathon) but whatever. I was more disappointed that the violet barely showed on Jackie's hair.  Guess she's not blonde enough and we'll actually have to bleach those streaks. 

Been pretty good about the food and exercise and okay on getting enough sleep, so not all bad a week in.  And as Sr. Highfill always said, "Head down, face in the mud.  Head up, fly like eagle!"

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I'm Going to Indie Pop You One!

So this makes me sad 'cause even though I can't stand Zach Braff's and his followers' form of self-pretentious love of quasi-cool Indie bands (like, I know one of of a thousand Indie bands so now I'm going to be totally obsessed and wear big stereo headphones and just totally be awesomer than other people...but I digress and write run-on sentences), I kinda like the Shins.  Apparently, though, some members of the Shins don't like their girls.  In fact, they hit them.

So not cool... depending on court proceedings (and the fact that she was charged too), the Shins may have to go onto my blacklisted names along with Roman Polanski.  You know, 'cause he raped that girl and then fled the country rather than dealing with the consequences in our established (albeit fucked up) legal system.  Don't care if he survived the Holocaust--rape ain't cool.  And neither is hitting your girl.

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This Does Not Help, People!!!

As I was pleasantly buying my groceries today, I heard two people in line behind me talking about Obama versus Hillary. One guy argued that Hillary was an "old school Democrat"* and Obama wanted change and that though he's normally a liberal Republican (what does that even mean?!) he wants change over the status quo. While I am personally also leaning for Obama (okay, anyone) over Hillary's hawkish form of "social justice," shouldn't change for change's sake be a bad reason to vote for someone? Like, what if Obama changes everything the dude actually likes and believes in?

But, the idiot was wearing this t-shirt, so I guess I shouldn't expect him to think about political complexities like that.



Seriously, what a fucktard for wearing this and saying he likes Obama for the change he is offering. Has he listened to Obama at all? 'Cause Obama is all about unity and coming together and all the stuff that this shirt* is NOT about. Not to mention all the obvious reasons* this shirt had me seething while buying my zucchini.

Oh, and it spells the plural of "ho" incorrectly. Dumbass.




*okay, seriously 30-year-old dude, take a history lesson. 1990s "New Democrat" is not old school. The New Dealers are old school, idiot...
* made by notoriously misogynistic tshirt company (swallow or it goes in your eye)
* for a full feminist discussion of the shirt, check feministing.com out

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Ready, Set, Go!

I love Jeanne White Ginder... she's just says it all so clearly, it's like, "well duh" people!

Good thing Huckleberry likes wearing elbow pads 'cause I think Ryan's mom would totally win in an arm-wrestling match... without even using her arms!  Seriously, that lady has so much brain and heart it's amazing.  Both her and her boy are so inspiring... the Huckster needs to spread around some of that Christian love a bit more widely, methinks.

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Well Hell's Bells...

Huckleberry took Iowa...

Now let's see how he does in a state where evangelicals are illegal.

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Bone, Thugs, 'N' Sleepiness

I am sooooooo tired.  Why the hell can't I go to bed at 10 like I need to?  Why can't I, since I paid a bajillion dollars for it, let my DVR record Project Runway for me to watch the next day?  Noooooooo, I just have to WATCH IT WHILE IT'S RECORDING!!!!

Now I'm Ms. Crankypants and I just want to yell at people and go home tp sleep.  Not really a good start to the week, but whatever.  I'll bust through some work, head home half an hour early, do a little workout and then crash.  Or stay up and watch the results of the Iowan caucuses... sigh.  On all accounts.

Tomorrow is always a new day!  Whether I'm tired or not... or whether we have yet another Clinton (2nd verse, same as the 1st!) or Chuck Norris, mantoy...

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why i love my boy...

Yes, my boy is a teetotaler.  And no, he's not a huge reader.  And sometimes, well, he wears knee-high socks non-ironically.  And sure, he's kinda quiet around other people.  And of course, there's his tendency to work too late and watch stupid sci-fi shows like Flash Gordan... but man, I gotta say that email conversations like these remind me of why I have made him my ball and chain...

me:

hi you!

so i got some of those headphones...i kept getting outbid by people, so i went ahead and did a buy-it-now of a higher quality of the same kind (has volume knobs on the earphones--so 1970s!)... it was closer to $40.00 than $20.00 and you can totally hate me, I get it... but i still haven't had any beer!!! and i'm going to dinner with sarah friday and i promise i won't drink. i'm watching the change and know you're an anxious cat but i just got 2 cheaper things out of my system (headphones and loafers) so now everything else is on the wait list, k? mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa!!!!

i promise i'm reformed, i know you don't believe, but don't stop believin'!!!!

the boy:

I hate you.

(message immediately after)

I'm not a cat, you are. LOVE.

me:

(referring to first message)

dude that made my heart stop. seriously, not okay. even when joking... not in print at least.

the boy:

Your next reform hearing is schedule for later this month.

I got your shoes today. It's ok you got the headphones because I'm sending back your shoes.
Seriously, I LOVE YOU.

me:

no, don't send the shoes back!!!! why are you mean?!

the boy:

Because I care. I won't send them back.

me:

You are in a funny mood.  Who are you?
PS It's going to be hard not drinking... seriously, everything is based around beer!

the boy:

I think it's because you're based around beer. You're now 63% beer... seriously. I will help you through this difficult time with disapproving looks that will ignite your gilt.

me:

gilt--is that like a hilt for a sword but for gay people? 

you're right, you'd think being 63% beer i'd be more drunk now, but nope, i'm not...

the boy:

So I'm missing a letter. I'm drunk from the fumes of your breath. Yea, that's what I said.

me:

haha... i'm blogging this conversation cause you're so friggin' funny!  also, you might need to reglue some of the white vinyl on my vintage headphones... you know, cause you're handy and all... even if you can't spell.

the end

Seriously--the boy is WAY funnier than me.  My "gilt" joke is not only lame but perhaps even slightly so nonsensical an association of words it's offensive.  It's not my fault though!  I'm currently compiling anti-gay/HIV hate quotes from the 1980s for work and gay was just on the membrane. 

Also, I'm 63% beer.

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This Year I Promise To...

Happy New Year everybody!!!  

My obligatory New Year's Resolution this year is to 1) be happier and healthier by not taking things so seriously and 2) take care of my body/mind before I get too old it's pointless.  As part of this I'm working on my insane need to control everything in my environment... instead I'm going to try to stop controlling people/time/feelings and just stick with nagging the inanimate objects.  So yes, I'll still be annoyed about laundry in the floor and weird magazine piles, but I'll try not to be hyper-intense about work schedules, weird fits of delirium, other people's problems or tardiness.  For my body/mind, I'm also going to try to not drink any alcohol this month and not drink any soda next month.  Not sure what I'm giving up in March, maybe spending money?  I'm going to try to keep track of how it all goes and see if there are any clear benefits.  I'm pretty sure I'll fail on Month 1 and Month 3, but I bet I can kick this Coke Zero habit at the very least.

Cheers!

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